Hello all

Mummy's Girl

Registered User
Oct 27, 2006
I've not been on here for ages - I joined in October last year, introduced myself and disappeared :eek: . But my dear old mum has just been put through a distressing experience by me and my sister's and I feel terrible. :(

We have been in touch with social services again and they have assigned mum a new and fantastic worker. She is fab and has been in touch a lot recently. We are lucky enough to to have a dementia day care centre local to us and the worker took mum along one p.m with my older sister. Mum enjoyed it - which surprised us all as she is adamant that she doesn't want to go to a day centre. She went on Tuesday for the afternoon and was distressed the whole time :( Crying to go home etc. They dropped her off at 5pm and my sister went to see her and found her in the bathroom sobbing :(

She seems to be ok today. No one has mentioned it to her today and she's not either (hopefully it is forgotten)

So that is abandoned...... one positive thing is that we've found the times of our local carers group meeting and so me and my 2 sisters are going along ( not even asking our brothers but Hey ho!)

Thanks for reading! It's a good place to vent knowing those reading TOTALLY understand



Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya MG,
Good to have you back.
Don't feel terrible - you tried something, it didn't work, so you are going to try something else. A few months time, it may be the right thing to do - who knows?
Love Helen


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
I wouldn't discount daycare altogether, maybe a few more times and she will get to know people and interact.
The unknown is frightening, but as she gets used to it she may get to like it.
I think it depends on the carers, at daycare knowing how to handle the patient.
When Mum and Dad went to the day hospital, Mum loved it, they made a lot of her. Of course it was CPN's who were in attendance.
In their present daycare, carers don't seem to be fully up to speed on Dementia and in my opinion need more training, so therefore Mum and Dad aren't so keen to go and it is a struggle in the morning to persuade them to go.
If I were you I wouldn't yet give up on Daycare, but you know best and what works.
I know I couldn't cope without Daycare.


Registered User
Feb 28, 2005
west mids
my mum absolutely hated day care at first. She accused me of bullying her into going, and like your mum sobbed and resisted for a good few weeks. With support from the staff there, they chivvied me along into keeping it going, and its a godsend now.
Mum loves it, she has always been introverted and not a good mixer , and now she goes 5 days a week. It is a dementia unit , and they work hard to stimulate mum , even getting her attempting to knit again.
In four weeks mum moves into a care home. I believe that attendance at day care has eased the transition into residential care, mum has accepted it very well, and after years of being happy with her own company , prefers the company of others now.

Lots of luck
Ally xx


Registered User
Mar 31, 2004

My mum was nto at all happy at the day centre initially - she was trying to walk out, spent the first day there in tears. After about a month the centre manager said that they could not care for her needs, as it was a general day centre, and not secure. The social services then arranged a place at a specialist dementia day centre, and from day one mum enjoyed it. It seemed as if, once she was in company with other people in the same situation, she relaxed. She really seemed to want to go - would be looking out for the minibus and would get on it with a smile on her face. As I had to work it was a godsend, but it gave her a break too, as she was becoming very isolated. Perhaps it might work out the same for your mum. Its hard sometimes to know what to do to help our loved ones.

Take care


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