Hello again. :(

[Shedrech]

hi @LadyA
your mum is one amazing woman ... and her daughter takes after her

I'm glad she's not distressed by all her 'visitors', though that doesn't mean you don't worry ... I agree, unless she wants to talk, let it be

good news about the jab ... I guess we're all feeling more positive now the vaccination process is going so well

I hope you have a good day (and get yourself a treat while shopping tomorrow)

 

[LadyA]

hi @LadyA
your mum is one amazing woman ... and her daughter takes after her

I'm glad she's not distressed by all her 'visitors', though that doesn't mean you don't worry ... I agree, unless she wants to talk, let it be

good news about the jab ... I guess we're all feeling more positive now the vaccination process is going so well

I hope you have a good day (and get yourself a treat while shopping tomorrow)

Shedrech, I feel a little "detached" from it all, if that makes sense? Mum and I have always been close, especially since we're both widowed, but right now, she needs a more clinical love - a bit detached, so you can make practical decisions. I know my limits. And this time I won't be press-ganged.

Hope you're keeping well?

 

[Sarasa]

Good to hear your update, and I'm glad your mum isn't distressed by the hallucinations. I found it very odd when my mum talked calmly about my long dead dad sitting at the end of the sofa and the fact she thought there was someone in her bed. She sort of knew and sort of didn't know they weren't real, but took it all in a very matter of fact way. Very differently to the way she went on about the neighbours she was convinced were stealing from her.
I've always tried to keep quite a hard head about making decisions for my mum, so I think you are wise to keep your feelings 'detached'. I sometimes think my husband thinks that means I don't care, but it's just I don't think I'd help anyone, least of all mum, if I get too emotionally upset about things.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @LadyA
makes complete sense, and very much how I coped with dad's situation .... he meant a great deal to me but I and he needed me to be able to keep going so I took each day at a time and made sure I looked after myself ... you are absolutely right to choose carefully what you do and what you won't do

I'm trundling along, thanks, very much enjoying the longer days now and the sunshine at the moment ... and so looking forward to being able to go to the seaside in the next few weeks ... I hope you will manage some breaks this year and get to see family and friends

 

[LadyA]

hi @LadyA
makes complete sense, and very much how I coped with dad's situation .... he meant a great deal to me but I and he needed me to be able to keep going so I took each day at a time and made sure I looked after myself ... you are absolutely right to choose carefully what you do and what you won't do

I'm trundling along, thanks, very much enjoying the longer days now and the sunshine at the moment ... and so looking forward to being able to go to the seaside in the next few weeks ... I hope you will manage some breaks this year and get to see family and friends

I'm very fortunate in that I live in the country, and have been making time for longish walks - usually around 5km. Also, daughter and her family are in my "support bubble " so I can see them, and I'm still working part time. I do miss seeing friends, but as time goes on (we're still in Level 5 lockdown), I'm finding I miss them less. I can be a bit reclusive by nature, so lockdowns are a bit dangerous for me, in that they encourage my reclusive tendencies!

 

[Grannie G]

I can be a bit reclusive by nature, so lockdowns are a bit dangerous for me, in that they encourage my reclusive tendencies!

I`m finding this @LadyA

I was upset at the start of the first lockdown feeling I might have to be dependent on my son for shopping etc when I was unable to get an online slot

Now I can get the slots and also get out for fresh produce and am quite content to stay at home the rest of the time.

Sorry no one saw fit to discuss your mother`s Alzheimer`s with you. Sometimes I wonder if confidentiality can be taken a step too far particularly with an illness which can mean someone living alone will become very vulnerable.

 

[LadyA]

Sigh.
This morning, I found evidence of bleeding. Questioned mum about any sore areas, and she said there's another area on her rear where the skin "came off ". I called the phn, and by the time I got back to mum's from my walk the nurse had been and gone. She'd dressed the sore - yet another pressure sore - and will come again in a few days to change the dressing. It's literally only a few days since the last dressings were removed from a pressure sore that was "healed".

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I'm sorry to hear this @LadyA. You have been through so much. Is there anything recommended to try and prevent the pressure sores?

 

[LadyA]

I'm sorry to hear this @LadyA. You have been through so much. Is there anything recommended to try and prevent the pressure sores?

Mum's circulation is poor, her mobility is increasingly compromised, and she's very underweight. She's had a severe skin condition all her life and although these days, there are more effective treatments to control it, for most of mum's life the only treatment available was steroid creams, which of course has led to her skin being very thin. I think that it's the combination of all those factors affecting her now.

 

[Weasell]

Mum's circulation is poor, her mobility is increasingly compromised, and she's very underweight. She's had a severe skin condition all her life and although these days, there are more effective treatments to control it, for most of mum's life the only treatment available was steroid creams, which of course has led to her skin being very thin. I think that it's the combination of all those factors affecting her now.

Eating more protein is one route.
Does she tend to have her hand in the biscuit tin?

 

[LadyA]

Eating more protein is one route.
Does she tend to have her hand in the biscuit tin?

Her weight has been dropping for a long time. We bring her meals in, so - the diet provided is well balanced. She certainly hasn't been helping herself to biscuits. Or anything much. She will mostly eat what we put in front of her but not always. The dietitian told us that she should eat "at least " one dessert a day for the calories. She's also on nutritional supplements. But mum's got several medical problems, and combined with her age, frailty and alzheimers it's just making things very complicated and difficult for her.

 

[LadyA]

Another little update!
Mum's had another bleeding sore! The care assistant contacted the phn, who says it doesn't look like a pressure sore, she thinks mum is scratching. It's dressed, and the necessity of heavy moisturising of mum's skin was emphasised again to her, so hopefully, she will allow the care assistant to do it more regularly, although I have my doubts. The doctor has prescribed a different cream to use, which isn't so heavy. Should be easier to use.
The good news is that, being called out so regularly to mum, the phn has applied for more assistant hours for mum, so she will, we hope, soon have someone five mornings a week, rather than three. It would be a great relief to me, not having to go in twice a day, as it's an hour's round trip and I spend around 1 1/2 hours with mum each time. The other good news is that the memantine seems to be agreeing with mum.

I've had her out for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine twice this week, which she really enjoyed, although it's cold enough still that she had to be very well wrapped up. And she's now fully vaccinated, and doesn't seem to have had any side effects or reactions to that.

 

[Cat27]

I’m hope you get the extra hours soon @LadyA & I’m glad the memantine is agreeing with your mum.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @LadyA

Since lockdown for whatever reason the skin on my forearms has become very dry and flaky and needs extra moisturising. I am also experiencing ugly red blotches. They are not raised, it`s as if capillaries just under the skin have burst. They do not itch , they just look sore.

I sent a photo to my GP who said they are age related [ I am 79] and caused by the thinner skinbeing knocked. I`m unaware of knocking my arms but suppose I must be.

I wonder if this is the same for your mother.

 

[LadyA]

Hello @LadyA

Since lockdown for whatever reason the skin on my forearms has become very dry and flaky and needs extra moisturising. I am also experiencing ugly red blotches. They are not raised, it`s as if capillaries just under the skin have burst. They do not itch , they just look sore.

I sent a photo to my GP who said they are age related [ I am 79] and caused by the thinner skinbeing knocked. I`m unaware of knocking my arms but suppose I must be.

I wonder if this is the same for your mother.

I don't think so, @Grannie G Mum's had a skin condition all her life, and has always needed tons of heavy duty moisturising.

I do know what you mean though - can't remember the full name of what you describe - "senile something or other". William was affected by that. I was there once when a care assistant was very gently washing his hands. As she wiped the cloth over the back of his hand, a massive purple bruise just flooded over the back of his hand! Horrifying to see, but it obviously didn't hurt, as he just looked at it, said "uh-oh!" and started laughing!

 

[LadyA]

As usual, I was with mum last evening. Got her dinner, sat chatting and watching tv for an hour or so, then gave her her tablets, closed all the curtains, switched on lights, and came home.

This morning, mum was dressed and had breakfast by the time I got there. But obviously very tired.
She had thought, when I left last night, that it was morning, and I was gone to work - so she didn't go to bed. At all. She says she realised at about 4 a.m. that it must be night - but just didn't get up and go to bed!
She's got a "dementia clock" in every room - but doesn't think to look at them. Another step on the road.

 

[Shedrech]

another step, another worry
are you able to see your mum to bed before you leave, maybe with a TV in her bedroom, or is it much too early for her ... actually being in bed might let her know she can go to sleep ... I know this sometimes helped dad, though he did at times also then get up and wander about, possibly after a loo visit ... and always trickier with lighter evenings

 

[LadyA]

another step, another worry
are you able to see your mum to bed before you leave, maybe with a TV in her bedroom, or is it much too early for her ... actually being in bed might let her know she can go to sleep ... I know this sometimes helped dad, though he did at times also then get up and wander about, possibly after a loo visit ... and always trickier with lighter evenings

She's not ready for bed so early. We're hoping it was a once off, due to side effects of the vaccine - she had her second jab on Tuesday. When my sis in law went in in early afternoon, mum had stiff soreness in her shoulders and a headache, and was feeling miserable . She gave her paracetamol, and said mum was much better before she left. I've given her more paracetamol now . She's actually supposed to take it regularly, but doesn't. Another thing for us to keep an eye on.

 

[LadyA]

Another little update.

No sign yet of the new carer visits, but we live in hope! Mum is, at the moment, doing very well. I've been taking her out for long walks in the wheelchair (worked out last night that this week, I've walked over 17km (10 1/2 miles) with her!) and we can see how much good the fresh air and stimulation of seeing something other than her four walls is doing her. She has some colour in her cheeks, and looks brighter.

Of course, I think part of the improvement is down to the Memantine. I admit I was highly sceptical about it, as none of the "dementia meds" had any effect on my husband at all. However, mum seems more alert, and somehow more like herself. Will it slow progression? Who knows. But it does seem to be having a beneficial effect. Today, she starts on the full dose. It's been built up gradually, over the last month.

I'm away now to go in and make sure she's ok this morning, and has taken her meds etc., and take the opportunity of another walk, because the forecast is quite grim for this week. Tomorrow, the Bank Holiday, is forecast to have very strong winds and heavy rain, all day! Oh well.

 

[Grannie G]

It`s good to hear from you @LadyA although your mum does seem to be becoming more dependent on you.

Take care