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Hello again. :(

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
I went through similar with my OH a few months ago and I was convinced she would have to go into a home but, after a long slow couple of months she now appears to be at about 80% of her previous self and of course back home @LadyA
That's good, Agzy.
Hospital now says mum is likely to be discharged this evening. Depends on her blood results. And they say that they are pushing for Carer visits for her. But last year, she was approved for Care visits, and then told there was nobody available.

I have to say, mum sounds good today on the phone.

I've been trying to get through to the right person/section to push for Carer visits. Passed from pillar to post, and leaving messages. Some in the family are saying I need to just refuse to take mum from hospital, but I just can't. Not when she's mentally so much better, and is terribly excited about going home.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
2,197
Dorset
They shouldn’t release her from hospital until a care package is in place, even if it is just the LA’s emergency care team as a temporary measure.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
They shouldn’t release her from hospital until a care package is in place, even if it is just the LA’s emergency care team as a temporary measure.
Different system here, @Banjomansmate . The hospital do the application but there are so many hoops to go through, it's never in place in time for discharge. It's Community Care (insert hollow laugh here) that are in charge of Home Care. First, you have to get hold of the public health nurse. She has to visit the home and the person. And an OT has to visit the home. Then they do an assessment, and then put the application through, and once approved..... Well, mum was approved last August. Then she got a letter a couple of weeks later saying that there was nobody available.

I should have been much more pushy. I should have kept chasing it up. But mum was managing well, and didn't really want it, so I let it slide. Now, the family are putting me under pressure to refuse to collect her from hospital. But I just can't do that to her. I will, however, be chasing and chasing and chasing until some sort of Home Visits are in place.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,566
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
That's good, Agzy.
Hospital now says mum is likely to be discharged this evening. Depends on her blood results. And they say that they are pushing for Carer visits for her. But last year, she was approved for Care visits, and then told there was nobody available.

I have to say, mum sounds good today on the phone.

I've been trying to get through to the right person/section to push for Carer visits. Passed from pillar to post, and leaving messages. Some in the family are saying I need to just refuse to take mum from hospital, but I just can't. Not when she's mentally so much better, and is terribly excited about going home.
Me to. They originally said she had to have a home care plan but lockdown arrived and no availability so I asked could she come home immediately with out care and not sent to care home. Thankfully they agreed and I brought her home. Still no care available but I am coping pretty well.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
Well, mum got home on Monday evening. Tbh, I'm really surprised at how well she is. She says herself that she feels a lot stronger. Apparently, among a host of other things, she had a thiamine deficiency (Vit. B1). This can cause some confusion and muscle weakness. Mum is moving around much more cnfidently with her frame.

And, believe it or not, the Home Care did, indeed, materialise!! The phn is coming to mum this morning to chat to her and to introduce the care assistant, who will be coming five mornings a week! Mum says she doesn't really need it. We're telling her that she does, because it will tire her out much less if she has someone to help with washing etc. She can manage by herself, but it takes a long time, and she gets tired.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,833
Glad your mum is home, and doing well. The care visit sounds ideal, and will get her used to someone coming in if they need to be upped at a later date.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
It turns out the Home Care is only in place for six weeks! After that, we'll have to fight for it again. And I've already been told there's not much hope of getting it. Tbh, she wouldn't really need five mornings a week at this stage. But two or three visits a week would be a godsend.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,945
Kent
There`s always a qualification isn`t there. I suppose you see how your mum is after six weeks and take it from there.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
We're actually a bit shocked at how much better mum is than she has been for many months. She had been getting so terribly frail and thin (was just under 7 stone). We had been just putting it down to "frailty of old age". However. In hospital, she was treated for (among a lot of other things) a deficiency of Thiamine (vit B1). This can cause muscle wasting and weakness, confusion, and a host of other vague symptoms, easily attributed in the elderly to "age". Mum's moving around much better with her frame, looks much brighter, is much more inclined to eat (although she's still on steroids, which could account for the appetite.).
Her gp is going to do urine tests every week from now on, so we can try and catch any infections quickly.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,707
66
Toronto, Canada
I did not realize that B1 deficiency would cause such problems. I know that B12 can cause a lot of problems. I guess with age, one doesn't absorb vitamins and minerals even with a good balanced diet, so supplements are a good idea.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
Hmm. Mum tells me that someone rang her doorbell this morning at 8.30. But by the time she got there, there was nobody there. I wonder... I guess someone could have. I think I will work on that basis, for now!

The phn came yesterday to change the dressing on the pressure sore. "Oh, good" says I "And did she change the dressing on your face too?" (mum's had a(nother) skin cancer removed on Wednesday last) "No" says mum "I wouldn't let her. I told her the doctor said you were to do it!" :rolleyes: Gee, thanks mum! However, it's not bad. I'm quite squeamish, but there was actually nothing to be squeamish about. Extremely neat job.

Today, I'm taking mum out to one brother's house for lunch.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
Enjoy your lunch @LadyA. It will be interesting to see how your mother copes.
So far, she seems to be really well. Maybe I'm just too nervous, after her hallucinations. Or maybe I'm seeing what others are not, because of years of experience and training? It's like very early days with William. For years, I knew what was happening, but nobody else could see anything wrong, even when I explained. So, I guess, for now, we just wait.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,916
Chester
Or maybe I'm seeing what others are not, because of years of experience and training? It's like very early days with William. For years, I knew what was happening, but nobody else could see anything wrong, even when I explained. So, I guess, for now, we just wait.
I do think others don't see sometimes, for many reasons - dementia still seems to be a taboo for many. I see many elderly cyclists and some have odd or changed behaviour and I think hmm and a while later we hear they have dementia and are no longer cycling.

Both myself and dau think we see signs in my MIL, odd bits of confusion, and repeating herself in conversation, she has had several TIAs but none since pacemaker fitted 8 or so years ago, but my OH thinks she fine and it's just old age. Having said that she is in very early stages, has a lot of friends supporting her due to frailness and no need for anything else yet (she is 93).
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,637
Ireland
I do think others don't see sometimes, for many reasons - dementia still seems to be a taboo for many. I see many elderly cyclists and some have odd or changed behaviour and I think hmm and a while later we hear they have dementia and are no longer cycling.

Both myself and dau think we see signs in my MIL, odd bits of confusion, and repeating herself in conversation, she has had several TIAs but none since pacemaker fitted 8 or so years ago, but my OH thinks she fine and it's just old age. Having said that she is in very early stages, has a lot of friends supporting her due to frailness and no need for anything else yet (she is 93).
That's exactly what I'm seeing too, @jugglingmum . Odd bits of confusion and rather a lot of repetition. And some sort of vagueness. Like mum's not really there.

Today, at lunch at my brother's, I think he and his family saw it. We were there for maybe 3 hours. Can't do hostess mode for that long.
I spoke to Mum's priest this evening - not an arranged meeting or anything. Just bumped into him. He's known her for many years. And he said something about mum's confusion. So, definitely not just me seeing something that's not really there. (So to speak!)

Guess all we can do is see how it goes.