1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Hello again from Rathbone

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Rathbone, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    West Sussex
    Love to you dear TP friends, how I have missed you all! Our journeys took us far and wide, but there is truly no place like home. G says he is never going away again. Today he shared with me the various writings he has been making since he was diagnosed. He was worried that I would be upset by what he has written, but I found it strangely uplifting because it is just as though I am talking to the wonderful man I met and married and who I have known deep down inside is in there somewhere. It has encouraged me and delighted him, for sure. His complete insight into the way this disease is taking him away bit by bit is awful and wonderful at the same time if that makes any sense at all. The wonder is that we are able to share each others observations for now while he is still able to articulate how he feels, most of the time. And it means that I can share with him the bits he is not aware of which surprise and upset him, but he still wants to know. We both believe that while we have this opportunity, we must take it to build a foundation for later when things change. It draws us closer if that is possible - we have always been joined at the hip!
    I am catching up slowly with everyone's threads and send you all my love as ever. Holding each and every one of you in the Light. X Shelagh:)
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,496
    Female
    London
    I've often thought of you these past months while typing on my trusty iPad and wondered when you'd be back! Lovely to see you here and welcome back! Just when we are leaving on holiday...
     
  3. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,455
    Ireland
    Lovely to see you back Shelagh - and we want to hear all about your travels!:)
     
  4. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    West Sussex
    Thank you so much. Have a wonderful time. Catch up soon. Beate Love x :)
    And LadyA - go to bed NOW!!! X That"s an order. X:)
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,455
    Ireland
    I'm IN bed!!:p
     
  6. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    I'm not :D though I am on my way there! Just had to stop off and welcome you back, Rathbone. I too have been thinking of you and hoping all was well. Lovely to see you back here :) xxx
     
  7. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Shelagh-a big hello it's so good to have you back again. You have been missed. Please tell us about your travels when you have time. You and G sound happy:)

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  8. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,265
    Female
    near Folkestone
    A big welcome back from me too :) what you say about G is just what John and I are like :) he is so aware too and we discussed the new Alzheimers ad only a few days ago . Do tell us more about your travels . Just lovely to see you back xxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,765
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi Shelagh. Welcome home.
     
  10. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,491
    Female
    Near Southampton
    #10 Saffie, Jun 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2015
    Hello Shelagh. So nice to see you back here. I've missed your news over recent months.
    It's an odd illness, this dementia, isn't it. Your G has so much insight which is wonderful because he can write about his feelings and share them with you, knowing you will understand and empathise. That is so precious.

    Others have so little or at least appear to do so but is that perhaps a self-protective shield.
    I pray that Dave didn't because he didn't feel able to share with me if he did.
    Maybe I put on too positive a front so he didn't feel able to. I hope not but have wondered about it since he died. I was too concentrated on what was happening at the time to think about it before.
    So many things I now worry about and regret.

    Have you moved yet? Or have you decided not to do so.
    I'm glad G was pleased to be home again but I wonder if he will change his mind after some time.
    I hope your son is settled into his new home now.

    Take care. xxx





    Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point
     
  11. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Welcome back Shelagh, I was only wondering how you were the other day. Looking forward to hearing about your adventures xxx
     
  12. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    West Sussex
    #12 Rathbone, Jun 1, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2015
    Oooh it IS lovely to hear from you all. Thank you so much. This initial contact came from not being able to sleep, which is a blessing in some ways as I was free of time enough to write to you, but now I am feeling yuk from sitting up too long and then exhaustedly slumped in bed - that must have been a pretty sight! Terrible dry mouth means gaping no doubt. Ah the joys of advancing years! G looks fresh as a daisy as he got up too and slept in his chair next to me and didn't stir and didn't have his bedtime dreams as he wasn't IN bed - strange old brain eh? I am dashing about backwards and forwards to builders so we can certainly move into this other flat, Saffie, as G desperately needs the room not to keep bumping into things. Dear Saffie, nothing you could have done with your dear one should have been any different and I am certain you have nothing at all to worry about that you didn't pay attention to. Your love for him is so very apparent and, like I have said before, we do the best we can and if it comes from the heart, NOTHING can be wrong. If Love is the starting point, then all is well.
    We came back home to a desperately sad event and needed to spend five days in, and getting to and from, Liverpool to be with our dear friend whose wonderful wife of sixty had just died. She was diagnosed in March and died five weeks later and did niot want us to know while we were away from home as she knew we would try to get back. So much sadness for everyone to manage. Sometimes I think we will sink beneath it all and yet here we still are. Scarlett, Lyn, Di, Verity, Saffie, Alice, Beate, Heike, Sue - all those and more of our wonderful friends here.....we carry on because it is Love which holds us up. And TP, of course. What would any of us do without TP?
    Now please don't get anxious anyone if I am an infrequent visitor for now. All will be well when Its finished. We have a buyer for this flat who is trying to change the terms on which I agreed the sale, so that needs to be sorted out - on my mind, but then, what isn"t. You all know how it is. I will be back.
    My fond love to you all X Shelagh :)
     
  13. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    Welcome back my friend. Have missed you
     
  14. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,118
    Female
    Scotland
    Welcome home Shelagh! Your TP family have missed you!

    But sorry you came home to the sadness of loosing your dear friend’s wife, and her so young.

    You sound very busy, good luck with all you have to do.

    This is just a brief quickie, I also will be back.

    How true, Shelagh, how very true….

    I read this recently, the words of someone whose lifelong friend has Motor Neuron Disease:



    With my love
    Loo xxx
     
  15. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    West Sussex
    Thank you all so much for your lovely welcome back. Up to my eyes right now with the flat renovation and recalcitrant builders. Will be back again asap. Holding you all in the Light every day. Love to you all X Shelagh :)
     
  16. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,491
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Don't work too hard Shelagh! xxx
     
  17. Soobee

    Soobee Registered User

    Aug 22, 2009
    2,734
    South
    lovely to hear from you again
     

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