1. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    78
    manchester
    I just need to moan.

    At present we are struggling with mum at home. She does not appear to want to eat anything and won't let us help her with her meals. She always says she will sort herself out but unfortunately cannot.

    She is still in the denial stage but is getting more and more argumentative.

    She is constantly shouting at me and actually went to hit me last week, because she thinks I am stealing everythiong from her, including clothes, cutlery ornaments plates, food, and money. She thinks I am taking them to give to me daughter in law and I do not know where she gets her ideas from. I know I should not take her on and I know I should ignore what she says, but I am really struggling with this. I am constantly in tears and as much as I try to help her, she just will not let me and I just seem to annoy her just being there. As soon as I walk in she turns her back and looks at the wall and ignores me other than to ask me what I have come to steal next.

    Also if I go with my brand new granddaughter of 13 weeks old, she just looks in disgust and says "what have your brought her for" and it really really upsets me. I know mum would NEVER havebeen like this before she was ill, and would have adored her first great grandaughter, but this is just so hard to bear and I am really struggling with it.

    I go home every night in tears and am not sleeping as it is constantly onmy mind.

    Sorry for moaning just needed to get this off my chest.

    Maggie x
     
  2. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    You just moan away Maggie ! You are entitled !! You can't change your Mom, only how you react to her or her behavior. I think we all get worn out dealing with our AD folks, afterall we are human. Read "The Validation Breakthrough", it might help you know how to talk to you Mom. It has helped me many times talk my Mom down from an episode. Still I get impatient and frustrated at times. Like yesterday when I went over and she had taken all of her bandages off. ( she wandered off the day before, fell in a neighboors driveway and the ambulance took her to the emergency room.....broke two bones in her hand) My Dad was trying to put the splint back on the wrong hand!!
    It's a wonder I have any hair left as I am constantly pulling it out!!
    I hope things get better for you soon.
    hugs, Debbie
     
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    How about using revere physiology on your mum & next time say yes mum I am staling every think for (sister in law) mind if I take this it looks so nice on her? Then run :)

    (Sorry if I don’t see the funny side of it all .....as I know how you feel I crack:eek: . that’s how I cope with mum )

    If that does not help how about calling social worker & ask for a respite? Tell her what’s happening & how its affecting you when was your last respite?
     
  4. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    I do not know what it is with Dementia patients but accusations over money and stealing accusations seem to be the first stumbling blocks we all have to deal with
    They certainly are with my Mother

    Having gone to the bank today to get the EPA registered etc the guy who dealt with things said it was a common complaint from carers

    When I showed him what my Mother had done with cheques etc plus how everything is not locked away in her house and the risks of theft etc she faces he was appalled and was thankfull i now have the EPA and have transfered much of her affairs into mine and my sisters handling

    I must applaud this one person in Barclays he was superb.......... sadly i did find the same attitude in 2 other branches from whom i tried to get help to at least put a warning on the A/C several weeks ago
     

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