Helen and Alan


Registered User
Sep 9, 2009
cornwall/real name is Angela
Just caught up with the latest events,I hope your husband is now at peace,I am truly sorry you have had to battle the system so hard over the last few months,you must be absolutely exhausted,kind regards,Angela.


Account Closed
Jul 16, 2008
Dear Helen

No words from me can bring you comfort, but many thoughts of you both will remain with me.


Registered User
May 19, 2008
Hi Helen

I had tears in my eyes when I heard Alan was holding his little dog all day yesterday - it also made me smile because his animals brought him so much happiness.

I hope you manage to get some rest tonight so that you can cope with all that tomorrow will bring.

Alan is free and in no more pain - Its harder on the one left behind and I will be thinking of you as you grieve your lovely husband.



Registered User
May 20, 2009
Dear Helen,
I can't find adequate words to say how very sad I am to hear of gentle Alan's passing.
Please except my sincere condolences.
You are in my thoughts.
Love Geum. xxx


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Dear Helen

So very very sorry that Alan did not have the painfree end you had wanted for him.

He is now painfree and you did the best you could.

It is now time to care for yourself



Registered User
Oct 31, 2009
Helen, I haven't been on TP for a couple of days & I did not expect to hear this sad news so soon.

It's a terrible shame that Alan's final hours were not as you had hoped. It sounds as though this time, you were let down by individuals who failed to do their jobs as they should. I would imagine the DNs who are reporting their failures feel let down by their colleagues too. But as Sussex Sue says:

Whatever you do dont dwell on his last few hours, it the lifetime that you spent together that really mattered.

Nothing & no-one can take the life & the love you shared with Alan away from you. Bless you for sharing some of it with us.

The burial place you have in mind for Alan sounds beautiful. I hope he can keep his little dog with him. I am glad you are finding some comfort in music - it can be such a cathartic & healing thing.

Lots of love & hugs to you xxx


Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
You are one brave, couragous lady who has always faced the truth with so much heart and intelligence. I'm so very sorry for the manner of Alan's passing. He and his little dog are at peace now and I too was in tears when I read this in your post. Rest as much as you can over the coming days Helen. You need all your strength.

My love to you,



Registered User
Mar 15, 2009
dear hellen so sad to hear alan passed away i am sure he has left some lovely memories behind to cherish and is now at peace my condolences to you will be thinking of you at this sad time milly


Volunteer Moderator
Oct 2, 2007
I was quite taken aback when I caught up with your thread this morning Helen. I’m so very sorry.

With love,

Katherine x


Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
Good morning to you all:)

This is just a quick message to say that I slept well and I have woken up to the same feelings that I went to sleep with. I never expected to feel the things that I do -BUT I DO- and so does my daughter and anyone else that has been to my home. I feel the house is full of peace and love. I feel full of peace and love. It is actually wonderful and I have thought of both Norrms and Barry and can say that I am taken totally aback myself by this experience. It is nothing grand or noisy or busy just very gentle, calm and peaceful but it's like it is everywhere.

I woke up to the thoughts this morning that it would give Alan such peace to know that I am alright. My shackles are not totally severed as his are but the shackles on my spirit are severed. When he said 'goodbye' to me on the Thursday and we had that moment that was the last thing he could give to me and this is the last thing I can give to him. I will be alright - and more than alright. This experience has meant to me that the disease did not win in the end. Love won and life won.

I bet you will all think I have lost the plot but these are my true experiences as I sit here this morning and there is nowhere in the whole world that I would want to share them more with than my fellow TPers:)

Love to you all

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
No one will think you have lost the plot Helen.

It`s wonderful to feel as you do. I think it`s because you have no remorse or feelings of guilt and an acceptance that Alan is now in a better place, wherever that may be, than he was while he was so poorly.

I`m sure there will be times when you will miss his presence but I know there will never be times when you will want him back in the state he was.

And because you know he has peace, you have peace for yourself.

Love xx