1. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Thanks Sylvia I have been thinking about them both all morning, but did not expect this news, please give Helen my love , pam
  2. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    Thank you Sylvia for letting us know.

    My thoughts are with them both.

  3. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Thank you Sylvia for letting us know.

    Love and thoughts for Helen and Alan.

  4. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Thank you Sylvia for passing on the news. I still think of the photos of Alan cycling this summer. It's distressing to think of. My thoughts and love to Alan and Helen.
  5. sussexsue

    sussexsue Registered User

    Jun 10, 2009
    West Sussex
    Just thinking of them and hugs all the way.
  6. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    #26 jackie1, Jan 12, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2010
    Thank you Sylvia for letting us know.

    Love and prayers for Helen and Alan.

  7. Lancashire Lass

    Lancashire Lass Registered User

    Nov 24, 2009
    Sylvia, Thankyou for letting us know, how typical of Helen that she would contact you to let us know, knowing that we would be thinking of her, she is always there with a kind word and support when we need it, give her and Alan love from me and my Alan xxxx
  8. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    I am so thankful that Sylvia was able to convey the dreadful news. I feel like a bomb has exploded in front of me - not because of the news but because of all the implications.

    I have not slept and have been very thin on patience and my ideas of care are that the standards needs to be good enough.
    I would have sacked anyone on the spot if they spoke to Alan the way I have when I'm exhausted. I am terrified of the end of our journey together will be marked by this rather than the wonderful life I have been able to offer him as part of his care needs. I hope some of you will understand.

    Things are spiralling out of my control. The CPN has just visited and she wants Alan in respite care today. She is going back to talk to the consultant about night medication for Alan.
    The Social Worker is coming at 4.30pm and has already established that the care home does have a place for Alan but they are concerned because they know he needs one to one care. I am going to see whether Crossroads will provide a night time sitter for him at the care home tonight (if he goes tonight).

    I have now got the cold that has been threatening to descend upon me.

    My request to you all is that you don't tread on eggshells around me but just try to carry on as normal. I am going to take a deep breath and let it all happen around me and then try to discover what the 'new normal' might be!! If you want to ask questions, please do. The CPN is absolutely shocked and no one can believe it. The Social Worker was absolutely shocked too and in a way I am glad because it confirms my own experience and that no one saw this coming because Alan is a picture of health. He is a very poorly man and he has cancer on the lung (blocking the right air passage) and also lots of tumours on the liver. I have said that I can't see the point of a biopsy because the consultant was as sure as can be but can't be 100% without a biopsy which I understand.

    Love to you all. (p.s. Alan has never smoked and he has not been a big drinker)
  9. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Helen dear, shocked by your news.

    I do hope that you will very soon get the level of care that Alan requires on all fronts, and that your needs and feelings are taken into account too.

    Love to you both.
  10. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Helen - I am so sorry. FYI - with this sort of diagnosis you should be fast tracked for NHS CC which may give you more options for care in the home (and allow you to cope as you wish to cope).
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Helen, that is devastating news. Unbelievable that someone so apparently fit can be concealing such disease.

    I hope they manage to sort out respite for Alan today, to give you time to get your head together.

    I hope you can manage to get some rest, though I know it's not going to be easy to switch off.
  12. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    Torquay Devon

    Thank you Helen for your very honest explination to whats happening with Alan. Dont worry about us treading on eggshells, we wont, because we want to know what happening, be with you,and to support you every step of the way, all my our love to the both of you and all your family from Norrms, Elaine and all my family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  13. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    Oh! Helen I am so sorry to read this dreadful news. Keeping you both in my thoughts.

    With love
  14. Bristolbelle

    Bristolbelle Registered User

    Aug 18, 2006
    I know form expereince how suddenly this can happen, I also what wonderful support exists out there from GP hospice staff etc. I hope you find the support you need,and of course we are here for you too! Kind thoughts xxx.
  15. Michele

    Michele Registered User

    Oct 6, 2007
    Dear Helen,

    I am so sorry to hear of your news. Life can be so unfair.

    We won't tread on egg shels, we are all here for you and thinking of you all the time.

    If you want to shout and scream then do it with us, that's what friends are for.

    Much love to you both, and sending you both really really ((((((((big)))))) hugs.

  16. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    #36 Lynne, Jan 12, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2010
    Dear Helen

    Like everyone else, shocked & distressed at this confirmation of your GP's fears, and the implications.
    (To anyone unfamiliar with the background, Helen's previous thread is here: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=20499)

    I know your thoughts are all about Alan now, of course, but if suitable respite care for him is a possibility for a few days, please get some medication for yourself from the GP to enable you to switch off & sleep, once you don't have to be "on alert" for Alan during the night. You need all the strength you can gather.

    Love & Sympathy by the bucketful ...
  17. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Dear Helen

    Like everyone I'm saddened by your news...which inevitably changes everything.

    I hope that Alan can have some time in respite asap in order for you to rest and recover your balance.

    Thinking of you....as we all are.

    Lots of love xx
  18. julieann15

    julieann15 Registered User

    Jun 13, 2008
    Dear Helen and Alan
    I was so sad to read your news. Hope you can find the strength from somewhere to get you through the difficult times ahead.

    Love as always and a big HUG

    Julie xx
  19. Bookworm

    Bookworm Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    Co. Derry
    Thank you for sharing your sad news Helen - you have always been so good to me, carrying me when burdened - I only hope I can be an adequate support when you need it. Carrying you constantly in my heart today, xx, Sue
  20. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008

    I am so sad to read your latest post. I hope that you and Alan can get all the help and support which you both need.

    You are both in my thoughts

    Love Carina x x

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