Mum was admiited to a care home yesyerday, and it was without question the hardest thing Ive ever done. Stupidly I arranged a lunch for her and some old friends before we went. It meant nothing,she was bewildered and confused . Aine if you read this, your quote "since I gave up hope I feel so much better" was running through my head last night.Im sure when I get to that point , life will be easier for me and mum...at least Ill stop trying to make useless grand gestures! The staff at the home were warm and welcoming , but mum was shaking and frightened , she didnt want to stay there. I stayed with her till late, and God Bless her, she ended up comforting me.Suffering a disease that has stripped her of so many things, she was so dignified . This morning she was calmer and has appeared to accept that she is staying there and not going home. The staff tell me she had a settled night. I fooled myself that life would be easier once mum was in care, but nothing could prepare me for how i feel today. Suddenly I have time on my hands, the phone has stopped ringing, and I feel wretched. We start a new leg of our journey through AD now, and stupidly I thought that this was going to be the easy part.