Today she said "you are only good for material things. You are not kind, compassionate or caring. This really hurt because I have been aware, on some level, all my life that my mother kind of ‘used’ me to get things she wanted. Not rich here, but husband and I have been helping out financially for many years and continue to do so now. Other than that “flaw”, she was loving, so I accepted all my life that we are all imperfect. This was followed a little later with another request for an item. Of course, I will buy it. Does she have dementia? Quite possibly. But no diagnosis. She was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment several years ago. She has serious heart disease, is ill, complains all the time (I try to be supportive and I do listen). Has been ill for over 8 years, so it is very hard on her. I cannot make it all better, so I suggest things like the doctor or whatever, and she becomes infuriated. She talks about losing her hair, says its the medication. Finally, I said, our hair does thin out as we age. Mine is thinner than it was. She again gets angry. What am I supposed to do? to say? She criticized my siblings. I once said "he really does love you and is trying". Her response: You are taking his side. I cannot win for losing. I feel like a child writing this, but why does she say such cruel things? Even if she believes it, why? I have two siblings that get criticized a lot but she “loves” them and they love her. I am bad one. She also says that I am unkind to her and that I “put her down”. This usually happens when I explain something over and over again to help her understand. I mean no harm. She comes to me with problems and I feel I need to solve them. You are in pain. You need to go to doctor. You are cold,, let us try to get you more heat. As so forth. She will accuse me of being angry, until I become angry from saying I am not angry. Right now I really AM angry. We once had (or I thought we did) a loving relationship. She was (I thought) easy-going and kind. Now I don’t know what to believe. I try. I really do. But the non-stop complaining and anger at me is very hard. I am getting to where I actually had a horrible thought yesterday. I can’t say it, but you can imagine it. I think I wished for it all to be over, and it was not for her sake, this time. I had an angry, mean thought. I admit to this. I now feel so guilty as I have always loved her and don’t know how I could even think that. I am not a full-time caregiver, but I am involved quite a bit in her care. She is in late eighties, has heart disease and no diagnosis of dementia so I have no idea why she is saying so many critical things. I wonder if this is who she always was, inside? And now, with "dementia", and the filters removed, her true character is showing?