1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    hubby is in the last stages of dementia.he still knows who I am, but its so hard to see him just sitting there ,no movement ,some times he talks .like on Saturday all he kept saying was he couldnt stand up any more and he loved me and was going to die,I kept the tears away till I got home.I did have family with me,but all I could think of after I got home was ,is he giving up. Its so hard these visits ,but I will keep going and never let him know how upset I get,and yes I do wish he would just go to sleep and not wake up,as this isnt my hubby and im sure there are many of you in this same place ,but it still hurts.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,572
    Kent
    It really is heartache marmarlade .

    I remember these days so well but have no recollection how I managed them. It is as if I was on automatic pilot.

    You can only do what you are doing. Visit, try to comfort, and hope.
     
  3. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    thank you grannie g its does help to tell some one what we are going through
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,206
    Merseyside
    Oh marmalade it's so difficult watching loved ones fade. I wish you strength.
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,517
    Ireland
    Wishing you strength too, Marmalade. It's a very hard thing, watching someone you love slipping away. My William couldn't talk - hadn't been able to for several days - at that stage. But he would catch my eye and smile now and then.
     
  6. dancer12

    dancer12 Registered User

    Jan 9, 2017
    451
    Mississauga
    dancer123

    Hi Marmarlade:

    May God give you strength. All my thoughts & prayers go out to you. It is a more difficult time than can be imagined.

    It's been raining here in Canada for @ a week and I can't stop thinking it's all the tears that are shed for loved ones. STAY STRONG my friend.

    Many hugs from Canada
     
  7. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Oh Marmalade, so very sad for you. You are very brave to stay so strong and loving for your husband, we never know what is going on in someone else's mind, let alone someone with dementia, but I'm glad he still knows you and is able to tell you he loves you. Bittersweet of course. Hugs to you
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,590
    Female
    Dundee
    Like others Marmalade I'm wishing you strength. My husband died in July and I think I can understand what you are going through.

    I'm glad you were able to share here and I hope that this has helped you in some way.
     
  9. Willow Tree

    Willow Tree Registered User

    Jul 6, 2016
    67
    USA
    Marmalade,

    Just want to add another voice to your chorus of support. We're thinking of you both and praying for peaceful release from pain, worry, and sorrow.

    So sorry you're hurting,
    Willow Tree
     
  10. caqqufa

    caqqufa Registered User

    Jun 4, 2016
    142
    You are among friends as we have either been there or we are heading there. May God give you strength. You have my prayers. xxxx
     
  11. Callandergirl

    Callandergirl Registered User

    Apr 23, 2013
    96
    So sorry you are going through this Marmalade. Big warm, cuddly hugs.
     

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