Heart broken worst new year ever

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Scraggy mag, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. Scraggy mag

    Scraggy mag Registered User

    Oct 30, 2018
    20
    I have cried and cried normally we go out but not this year he had no idea it was new year I cried he didn't comfort me . I have this horrible disease .sorry for ranting hope you are a!! Coping better than me happy new year xx
     
  2. Scraggy mag

    Scraggy mag Registered User

    Oct 30, 2018
    20
    Just can't believe how fast he is changing I feel mean for how I feel but sad for him I will pull myself together and get back to care mode just feeling sorry for myself xx
     
  3. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,383
    Kent
    It is ok to feel as you do caring for someone with dementia and the rollercoaster ride none of us would choose or want is so blooming hard at times. I hope you get some sleep tonight and feel refreshed in the morning.
     
  4. Scraggy mag

    Scraggy mag Registered User

    Oct 30, 2018
    20
    Thank you I am so sad and so scared of what's to come thank you for your reply can't tell my kids don't want to upset them xx
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,434
    Female
    Dundee
    Aw @Scraggy mag - I'm so sorry that things are so hard for you just now. You have every right to feel sorry for yourself. I hope that it helps, even just a little, to share here on TP.
     
  6. Unhappy15

    Unhappy15 Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    131
    Dear Mag
    I am so sorry you are so upset but everyone on T.P. understands, we are all watching someone we love disappear and it hurts.
    The only thing I can say is please be kind to you and post on here when you need support, there is always kindness an support on this forum.
    I wish you a peaceful New Year.
    Kathy x
     
  7. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,789
    Female
    Scotland
    Feeling sorry for yourself is very human. Losing all that is familiar and loved is not easy. Things do go in phases with this illness though and so you might find the next phases easier to deal with. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
     
  8. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    1,293
    Female
    South of the Border
    I feel for you Mag - we are all in this really dodgy boat and its sinking.

    I try to treat him as normal - he wants to be treated as normal - he doesn't accept the dementia - and that is the real deep seated problem in this situation.

    I sat and saw 2019 arrive with Alastair whatshisname on ITV news and Big Ben's Bongs and the fireworks, and a glass of something - OH sat in his room playing patience with his 5th mug of horlicks - he did not come into the sitting room at all. I stood at the door, and listened to the revellers outside and listened to the church bells ring in the new. Upset that he did not join me - but why should he? Why keep pretending things are what they ain't.

    Resolution? Try, try and try again to get an angle on all this.

    A Happy New Year to Us All!
     
  9. Scraggy mag

    Scraggy mag Registered User

    Oct 30, 2018
    20
    Thank you I feel much better today just had a blip first new year without my real oh that was .I feel for all of you going through this time and thanks for replying it really helps knowing you are all out there a very happy new year to you all take care xxx
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,222
    Female
    South coast
    Im glad you are feeling better this morning @Scraggy mag
    Things like Christmas, New Years Eve, birthdays and anniversaries always shine a cruel spotlight on the changes.
    xx
     
  11. Lady M

    Lady M Registered User

    Sep 15, 2018
    284
    Female
    Essex
    Likewise! I agree with you all, and what a relief to know that others feel the same! I am thankful every day for TP!
    Went to bed last night after OH carers left , laid awake for ages promising myself that I must and would try to be positive! But please tell me why does someone take 50mins to eat two slices of toast? Having being taught not to leave the table until everyone finished my positivity was failing me! He asked for his morning coffee 5 minutes later, by the time I had made it he’s asleep!!!!
    Positive is hard!
     
  12. Philbo

    Philbo Registered User

    Feb 28, 2017
    664
    Male
    Kent
    Although my wife is quite a way down the "dementia journey", I am still able (for now, at least) to get her down to our local pub at weekends.

    We were with our friends there last night and although she is in her own little world, she seemed to be enjoying it. Our friends make a real effort to involve her, even though she finds it difficult to communicate and her mobility has declined somewhat.

    I do find it hard when the clock chimes midnight and other couples there are hugging and kissing. I still do but my wife is no longer able to appreciate the sentiment which makes it all a bit sad.

    Still, compared with so many others who are in a worse position, I am grateful that we were able to take part in the celebrations. I am making the most of it whilst we still can.

    Best wishes everyone.

    Roll on Summer:cool:
     
  13. Lilyies

    Lilyies Registered User

    Jan 2, 2019
    13
    Hello, I have just found and joined TP , although nervous about being online , I feel encouraged by you all, I feel I’ve found an understanding friend. I’m caring for my hubby , it’s been a year now and after reading everyone’s post things aren’t that bad for me. I find myself trying to normalise our day to day,as I’m constantly asked the same repetitive questions , I answer every time but my coping skills are waining . Some days are better than others and you wouldn’t know anything was wrong . Answers the phone , full on conversation , chats to the neighbours, enjoys a little walk.
     
  14. Lilyies

    Lilyies Registered User

    Jan 2, 2019
    13
    Some days I feel so scared too , stay strong ! Have faith , hope for brighter tomorrow’s
     
  15. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,167
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP @Lilyies. I’m glad you’re finding the forum helpful.
     
  16. Jean1234

    Jean1234 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2015
    252
    I know how you are all feeling. I went to OH care home yesterday , as I do most days, and tried to give him a hug and said Happy New Year and he just looked at me, not even a smile. Then went to sleep. I don’t think he even knew who I was. So very sad. At least he is comfortable and relaxed. I didn’t sit up to watch the New Year in - just went to bed with my book as usual. He was a big party animal and New Year in the past before Alzheimer’s reared it’s ugly head was a big deal for him. Happy New Year to you all- at least we have each other on TP.
     

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