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Health Risks of Being A Carer Exposed

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,137
Kent
The best thing we can do for those we care for is to look after our own health.

Unfortunately it`s not easy to ask for help for ourselves when those we are caring for are in such a worse state than we are.

It`s why I think it`s so easy to push our own `headaches` to one side.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,955
London
It's all well and good to tell me to look after myself but colds etc can't always be prevented, and when I fall ill, I still have to care. I can't just turn around in bed instead. And no one looks after me then, I have to get my medication myself and make my own meals. If you can get carers in for people with dementia, we should be able to get them when we are ill too. But of course we're not. Somehow it's always our fault when we're ill, as we didn't look after ourselves better. That's because no one else does! I live in constant fear of having an accident and leaving OH on his own, but the stupid council worker responsible for carer emergency cards has still not been able to send me mine even though I have chased for months and months! I am thoroughly fed up of hearing well-meaning advice on how to stay healthy, and I mean absolutely no offence to you, Grey Lad, I am just frustrated this morning (and ill).
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,137
Kent
Your signature says it all Beate `just keep swimming` . It what is expected of carers and what you expect of yourself.

It is only now , when I no longer have the responsibility for another person, can I see how I was on the same hamster wheel as all the current carers here on TP. We go round and round and round and as long as we stay quiet we are forgotten.

I don`t know the answer but I refuse to pay homage to the lip service which is being offered now.

I know some people are trying to improve care for those with dementia but things are moving far too slowly for carers.

I`m sorry you are so ill Beate and feel so bad. I wish I knew what to do other than say `sorry`?
 

Cathy*

Registered User
Jan 4, 2015
42
Warwickshire
It's all well and good to tell me to look after myself but colds etc can't always be prevented, and when I fall ill, I still have to care. I can't just turn around in bed instead. And no one looks after me then, I have to get my medication myself and make my own meals. If you can get carers in for people with dementia, we should be able to get them when we are ill too. But of course we're not. Somehow it's always our fault when we're ill, as we didn't look after ourselves better. That's because no one else does! I live in constant fear of having an accident and leaving OH on his own, but the stupid council worker responsible for carer emergency cards has still not been able to send me mine even though I have chased for months and months! I am thoroughly fed up of hearing well-meaning advice on how to stay healthy, and I mean absolutely no offence to you, Grey Lad, I am just frustrated this morning (and ill).
Morning Beate. You shouldn't still be waiting for your emergency plan to be sorted. Have you contacted the line manager? Otherwise if I get fed up trying to sort something I get on to my MP. He needs to earn his money. You're probably not the only one being messed around. Hope you feel better soon.
 

Cathy*

Registered User
Jan 4, 2015
42
Warwickshire
I think I was really lucky with my gp, who also became mum's gp when she moved in with us. Home visits were no problem and if I needed an appointment myself I'd get in straight away. Towards the end I said I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and he said don't worry we'll look after you which made such a difference. I think that actually stopped me falling apart.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,955
London
Your signature says it all Beate `just keep swimming` . It what is expected of carers and what you expect of yourself.

It is only now , when I no longer have the responsibility for another person, can I see how I was on the same hamster wheel as all the current carers here on TP. We go round and round and round and as long as we stay quiet we are forgotten.

I don`t know the answer but I refuse to pay homage to the lip service which is being offered now.

I know some people are trying to improve care for those with dementia but things are moving far too slowly for carers.

I`m sorry you are so ill Beate and feel so bad. I wish I knew what to do other than say `sorry`?
This is a quote from Finding Nemo, where his friend Dory says it all the time. Dory has memory loss. A sequel called Finding Dory will be out next year btw. Will be interesting to see whether Pixar make the memory loss the central theme. We all have to keep swimming or we drown.
In a more literal sense, swimming was actually suggested to me to keep fit recently. It's not a bad idea if you can find a cheap leisure centre nearby.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Perhaps all we can do is get a Carers Assessment that leads to a reasonable amount of respite.
When I had a Carer's assessment life was so bad I thought I was about to collapse with exhaustion. The lazy, stupid CPN I had at that time said she had nothing to offer me. She did give me some advice though-to take some paracetamol for my stress headaches.:eek: Thank goodness the next CPN showed far more empathy for my situation (Pete was at severe stage by then) and daycare was arranged.
 

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