Am so upset.
Have done all I can in the past 2 yrs trying to keep Mum safe, especially with Dad having cognitive impairment and doesn't have much insight into what Mum is and isn't capable of. Mum is not safe at home alone, and sometimes even at home with Dad her safety is compromised.
Dad is not coping and says little things to me, like " your mum is getting worse and will need to go into care" or " your Mum is saying terrible things" ... She doesn't hallucinate exactly but see things that are or aren't there.
Or I go over and he's sitting there with a tear in his eye and shaking his head at Mums latest crisis... But he will not say anything to my sister, GP or health professional.
Yesterday he had a visit from the memory team nurse.
His MCI is about the same level, but she spoke to him about caring for Mum.
Suffice to say he well and truly pulled the wool over her eyes, and that we don't trust him to look after Mum.
The other week I had to remove Mums medication completely as just the mere sight of her container caused her anxiety. So each morning and night I go over with her tablets, where before I could rely on her taking her morning meds.
I cannot trust Dad to oversee this, as a few times before he has hidden her meds as a joke, telling her she has taken them. ( he thinks its funny, no wonder I don't trust him!)
Upshot was that the memory team nurse said she did not see any issues with Dad and Mums safety, and the problem is with me. I need to take a step back and let him look after his wife, because he isn't struggling to look after her, he's struggling with the issue of things not being as they were. ( I don't doubt this last bit)
That they need to start going out more together, and take up dancing again and all the things they enjoyed.
Dad cannot manage Mum on his own ( toileting issues) and Mum is wobbly on her feet let alone dancing!?
I really don't know what planet this lady is on?
But hey if I don't know my parents best after seeing them week in week out, and in the last 7 years day in day out, since they moved into a house behind ours, then she obviously does.
Have done all I can in the past 2 yrs trying to keep Mum safe, especially with Dad having cognitive impairment and doesn't have much insight into what Mum is and isn't capable of. Mum is not safe at home alone, and sometimes even at home with Dad her safety is compromised.
Dad is not coping and says little things to me, like " your mum is getting worse and will need to go into care" or " your Mum is saying terrible things" ... She doesn't hallucinate exactly but see things that are or aren't there.
Or I go over and he's sitting there with a tear in his eye and shaking his head at Mums latest crisis... But he will not say anything to my sister, GP or health professional.
Yesterday he had a visit from the memory team nurse.
His MCI is about the same level, but she spoke to him about caring for Mum.
Suffice to say he well and truly pulled the wool over her eyes, and that we don't trust him to look after Mum.
The other week I had to remove Mums medication completely as just the mere sight of her container caused her anxiety. So each morning and night I go over with her tablets, where before I could rely on her taking her morning meds.
I cannot trust Dad to oversee this, as a few times before he has hidden her meds as a joke, telling her she has taken them. ( he thinks its funny, no wonder I don't trust him!)
Upshot was that the memory team nurse said she did not see any issues with Dad and Mums safety, and the problem is with me. I need to take a step back and let him look after his wife, because he isn't struggling to look after her, he's struggling with the issue of things not being as they were. ( I don't doubt this last bit)
That they need to start going out more together, and take up dancing again and all the things they enjoyed.
Dad cannot manage Mum on his own ( toileting issues) and Mum is wobbly on her feet let alone dancing!?
I really don't know what planet this lady is on?
But hey if I don't know my parents best after seeing them week in week out, and in the last 7 years day in day out, since they moved into a house behind ours, then she obviously does.
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