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HEALTH POWER OF ATTORNEY

jane33

New member
Oct 21, 2020
1
my PARTNER WANTS ME TO DO A POWER OF ATTORNEY WITH HIS NAME ONLY ON IT BUT i HAVE A S ON AND KNOW IF HE IS THE SOLE PERSON MY SON WILL NOT HAVE A SAY. MY PARTNER DOES NOT WANT MY SON TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS. i DO NOT KNOW WHAT
DO AS I DO NOT WANT TO UPSET EITHER OF THEM
 

Veritas

Registered User
Jun 15, 2020
69
I'd suggest pointing out to your partner that if anything happened to him, there would no-one to look after your interests. None of us can know what is round the corner. This isn't a criticism of either of them, it's just practical realities. Your partner would still be able to make decisions on his own unless you specify that all attorneys have to agree - which the OPG advises against.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,002
Hi @jane33 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. I guess the 'Donor', the person granting Power of Attorney to one or more people is you? I think as @Veritas says it is wise to have two people as attorneys. For instance my brother and I are both attorneys for my mother, but he has been very ill for the last year, so I have had to make all the decisions myself. It had just been him, it would have meant that we would not have been able to do various things to help her.
Having said that if the two or them don't get on, it could be tricky. You mention Health and Welfare, have you already got one set for finances? The finance one is usually the one where people fall out, as Health and welfare decisions often have to be made in conjunction with health professionals.
I'm sure others will be along shortly with some more advice about this matter.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,891
South coast
Could you have your husband as POA with your son as replacement POA should anything happen to your husband?

That way they are both included, but unless your husband is unable to act as POA, all the decisions will be his.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
258
Hi @jane33
Why does your partner not want your son to be included on your Lasting Power of Attorney? no need to say if too private but at the end of the day it is always best if possible to have more than one attorney just incase a problem arises which means the Sole appointed attorney cannot act on your behalf any longer such as their death or lose their capacity themselves. If your capacity is lost by then it would be too late to do another LPA.
Replacement attorneys can be appointed would your partner consider that would be a more appropriate position for your son is there a trust issue with your son? which makes him feel he should not be on your LPA. Its usually advised that a LPA is done with attorneys being jointly and severally responsible giving them equal power over decisions and able to act without the others approval. I believe other options are available that can be tweaked so that it suits your needs better.
I would prefer that any LPA I eventually get round to doing would be what I want not a husband or partner. It is your LPA and if you feel that your son can be responsible and look after your needs then I would be of mind to say its your decision not your partners and you shouldn't be doing something you are not happy about.
My sister and I are both attorneys on my dads LPA we don't actually get on at all but we would not argue over dads money or how it is used as its only used for dads benefit. My partner of 20 years has a LPA as he has Parkinson's and is 16 years older than me it is registered with OPG and bank but as yet I haven't had to actually use it he can rubber stamp cheques himself. Partner does have children but he was actually happy for my daughter to be his other attorney along with myself and his son is a replacement attorney should anything happen to me or indeed my daughter. Just realised its the Health and Welfare LPA you are talking about so some of my post not relevant.
 
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Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,421
Yorkshire
hello @jane33
a warm welcome to DTP

I just wonder what's behind this .... and what exactly YOU think/feel about it as it's your choice and decision not any potential Attorneys'

you need to be happy that whoever you appoint knows and understands your own beliefs and wishes., will take them into account and will advocate in your best interests ... and will be around to act on your behalf

however, an Attorney doesn't necessarily have the complete or final say in health and welfare matters as the professionals will act in your best interests and even without LPA will generally involve family in any decisions (

I usually suggest LPAs are taken out (and hope you are happy with whatever you have chosen for your financial and property LPA) but I wonder whether you might put this off to prevent family tensions and for you to have time to make your own mind up