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He said I liying to him every time I say he home .then he cry’s

vannesser

Registered User
Apr 4, 2016
317
He as vascala for 4 year.
And it gets to a point know he says we need to go home as this is not our home (been here 25 year)he knows the wallpaper and how did it but thinks all houses are same when I say we stoping her he says I am telling Lys even if our daughter says same I have put hr up to it .he stops talking and then after a hour he criying and saying he sorry he should Lisen to me then it all starts again .i no this is not him but I don’t no what to do
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
237
To him it isn’t his home and nothing you can say will make him realise it is.
In my experience if you disagree it will only make it worse.
I’ve spent the last hour or so trying to settle mum who is afraid and doesn’t know where she is. She also keeps saying she’s sorry.
I tell her there’s nothing to be sorry for and try and I reassure her, tell her there’s nothing to be afraid of, I’m here and I’m looking after her.
This has started happening most nights since the lockdown and it takes her a while to settle but I eventually manage to calm her and get her to bed.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
20,274
North Manchester
The home he wants to go to is not a physical place, it's a concept of a former life.
All you can do is try to distract him, don't attempt any discussion or reasoning.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,346
Kent
Hello @vannesser

Does your husband say he wants to go home when it`s late afternoon or early evening? If this is so it means he is sundowning which is quite usual in people with dementia. They are often more unsettled and confused towards the end of the day when they are tired.

Can you make an excuse and tell him you will take him tomorrow or you haven`t eaten yet or it`s too cold or you are too tired, any excuse he might accept.

My husband used to want to go home almost every evening and I know how difficult it is to live with.