he looks normal and good thank God

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
But i know i have got to stop thinking and trying to make him feel normal
it is my problem as well --i cant except this --bloo-- ilness and how it is stopping him being the man he wants to be thanks all i like a lot of you are from the old school man was the --how do i feel comfortable giving him money for everything
he is my husband i am getting more and more bossy with him i have to but i hate it he does not seem to mind just says what now-
love bel x
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Wish I had words of comfort and advice, but sure someone will pop in to do that. Just wanted to send you my love xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Bel

I'm afraid you're going to have to accept that looking after the money is down to you now. Do you have joint accounts, EPAs etc?

I no longer give John money - he can't understand it, and he never goes anywhere without me, and he is quite content to let me pay. He does carry a wallet with some credit cards in - but they've all expired, so it doesn't matter if he loses them.

As I said on your other thread, you'll just have to judge the way you treat him by his mood at the time. If he doesn't mind you taking over, that makes it easier for you.

It's hard, I know. Once the slide starts, it seems to go so quickly.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,740
Kent
My husband carries money with him, but all he does is buy papers and lottery tickets.
I have said before that he had his own business, and now he doesn`t understand a bank statement.
I don`t know which is worse, to have arguments because he acuses me of being bossy and taking over, or for him to hand me unopened mail because he has no interest. I know he wouldn`t be able to understand half of it even if he did open it.
We can`t change the way the condition develops so we really have no option other than to do the best we can with what we`ve got, and hope we know when the time is right, what further action to take.
What a terrible state to be in.
Love to all who are suffering and are frightened of the next step. Sylvia x
 

angela.robinson

Registered User
Dec 27, 2004
520
78
please dont stop trying to make him feel normal. its different from you knowing that ,if he had heart problems you would discourage him from strenuous activitys. so you do the same with AD ,if that makes sense, as long as he accepts this .the problem as you said ,is us accepting the situation. as sky said you have to accept you will now deal with all money and finances,its hard but neccesary,i use to make sure JIM only took a £note with him to the corner shop in the early days so he did not have to worry about the right amount , but when it became to dangerous for him to go to the shop he was happy to leave it to me ,only in the later stages did he demand to know where his money was !!!!as he was not mobile then i just had to give him a wad of notes to keep by him , as he was use to in the pre AD days .its a sad fact Bell but the goal post keeps moving .I follow all your threads Bell ,and know what you are going through . from one who has been there.ANGELA.X
 

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
Thanks a million

ALL
for your support i have delt with finaces for last few years except that have done power of atorney i know in my heart of hearts i am doing a good job i know he is special and i treat him as normal as i can he has --as we joke over the years always been my bossy boots
i know he has this illness but its me that has the problem i am loosing him and it hurts like hell
love bel x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,740
Kent
Oh Bel, you`ve hit the nail on the head. He has the illness and you have the problem. We don`t have a choice, but would you have it the other way round? Love Sylvia x
 

bel

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
757
coventry
thanks grannie g

you are so right hubby has done so many things this last week or two and some have been dangerous but i am still not wanting him to realise the full extent of how bad he is getting i know its more my problem than his i need some help excepting it this next stage phoned consultants helper she is comming out tommorrow to see me we have an appointment to see consultant next wednesday i dont want to make hubby feel bad by telling him in front of hubby so i will tell her tommorrow and she can relay it on my behalf
love bel x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,740
Kent
I hope it goes well for you tomorrow Bel. When you mentioned danger, I understood why you have been so worried. That opens up a whole new area. Here`s hoping you get some good advice. Love Sylvia x
 

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