Having problems with mum s neighbours

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Lollyeast, Mar 15, 2015.

  1. Lollyeast

    Lollyeast Registered User

    Mar 14, 2015
    2
    My mum as just been diagnosed with dementia unknown. Mums story is complicated. Mum lives with her son my brother who has mild learning difficulties. I have no other sisters or brothers. My dad died 9 years ago. My mums family don't visit or help me with support. I live with my partner. Mums neighbour been complaining they have been woken up by someone banging on the wall. I thought at first it was my brother he said its not him so I think it's mum. I dread seeing the neighbours if they complain again. They complained through another neighbour. I just cried. My boss told that other people who have dementia can have problems with their neighbours due to behaviours. Last year the other neighbours complained to me about my brothers behaviour. When this happens I get very upset.
    Just want to know that I'm not alone with this situation. Do I need to get thicker skin. Although that's not in my nature
     
  2. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,085
    Brazil
    Welcome to TP.

    A neighbour complain could make SS offer more help. So it is not all bad.

    I suppose you are still grieving the diagnosis. I was on despair for months, but it pass.

    Organise POA if still possible. She may be allucinating while banging, maybe GP could be contacted.
     
  3. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,237
    Female
    England
    Hello Lollyeast and welcome to TP.

    I am sorry you are having a problem and it is very distressing when someone complains. Please see if you can get your Mother to see the doctor and explain to the doctor the problem. There may be some medication that can help your Mother to get through whatever is causing her to be banging on walls.

    It is sad that the neighbours are complaining but they do have a right to expect to manage to sleep at night and we have to respect their needs. If you explain to them the problems and you are doing all you can to resolve them they may be a little more understanding.

    As BR_ANA said, tell SS or your Mothers SW of the problems and see what help they can offer your Mother.
     
  4. Lollyeast

    Lollyeast Registered User

    Mar 14, 2015
    2
    Thank you for your replies. I will speak to mums doctor. Mum been discharged from her pyhcarist.

    I am sorry you are having a problem and it is very distressing when someone complains. Please see if you can get your Mother to see the doctor and explain to the doctor the problem. There may be some medication that can help your Mother to get through whatever is causing her to be banging on walls.

    It is sad that the neighbours are complaining but they do have a right to expect to manage to sleep at night and we have to respect their needs. If you explain to them the problems and you are doing all you can to resolve them they may be a little more understanding.

    As BR_ANA said, tell SS or your Mothers SW of the problems and see what help they can offer your Mother.[/QUOTE]
     
  5. Leswi

    Leswi Registered User

    Jul 13, 2014
    120
    Bedfordshire
    Just a thought ... Can you be certain this is actually happening? The reason I ask is that my mum with dementia regularly complains that she gets woken by her neighbour banging on the wall when in fact the little lady is as quiet as a mouse next door. Might the neighbour also have dementia.
     
  6. Solihull

    Solihull Registered User

    Oct 2, 2014
    97
    West Midlands
    I have been on the receiving end of this where my lovely elderly neighbour's character changed when the dementia set in. Unfortunately her unhappiness was distressing to my family but we helped her as best we could. SS stepped in when she kept calling the police to complain about her neighbours trying to "steal her belongings". My mum is also now in care so I do understand & I think you need to find out what goes on when you are not around. The people who are close-by need to be on your side. Good luck.
    Sue x
     

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