Having problems maintaining hygiene

[Ellaroo]

Mum aged 90 lives with myself and daughter .
Last 3 months she has lost some of independence when cleaning self after using toilet.
She is on iron tablets which dont help situation.
We try to prompt her to use more toilet tissue wipes And then toilet paper. She is starting to be uncoperative and wants to leave bathroom before she should .
It is becoming a real battle at times . She lashes out, tries to punch you , pull hair etc and is amazingly strong. My daughter and i are quite skilled at avoiding punches and manage to remove under garments .
I am at a loss what i can do.
Does anybody have any experience of this and if so what did they do to combat it.
It really is the dark side of dementia , makes light of all her other dementia behaviours.
I know if mum went into care she would be drugged up, padded and would lose skills she has . She can suddently be cooperative but it is somtime consuming , spending v long time in bathroom.
I presume ive just got to wait for mum to progress to next stage and not be able to resist intervention.
I am coping but its hard .

 

[liz56]

Dad was on iron tablets and started having toilet 'accidents'. He was just too slow moving to get to the loo quickly enough, and the iron was causing diarrhoea day and night. We talked to his GP about quality of life versus ideal medical treatment ( and that included life for us cleaning up the landing carpet, bathroom etc etc at 2am!).
The GP agreed to stop dad's iron - it might be worth you asking whether it is essential for your mum ?

 

[Ellaroo]

Thanks, mum not got diarrhoea but not normal and has 2 BM per day . I will see if they will either reduce dose as on 2 tablets per day or take off tablets completely .

 

[AlsoConfused]

Whole-hearted sympathy. We've been where you are and we were only able to improve the situation very marginally.

Making a routine of taking Mum to the loo at times when she was likely to go (and when it was convenient for us to deal with her) was useful to us. I used to chat with Mum while she was sat on the loo and it helped.

Our problems were made worse by the lack of space in which to "work" (the loo was separate from the bathroom) and the inability to clean Mum up by judicious and careful use of the shower on legs, arms, feet, etc.

Mum is always clean and fresh now since her move first into hospital (following a fall) and then into a Nursing Home. I can't see how we could have kept her 100% clean at home.

 

[jorgieporgie]

Hi Elleroo,
My Mum as just started not cleaning herself when going to the loo, lucky for us she is not on Iron tablets. What I find myself doing is following her every time she goes to the bathroom, I know it is a bit tedious but I sit on the the bath and talk to her whilst on the loo. I use baby wipes as I find they keep her cleaner than toilet roll. Plus if not wiped clean and thorough can cause UTI's. That's my solution anyway hope it helps!

 

[Ellaroo]

Thanks for advice, with try talking to mum on toilet . Mum has had alot of UTIs recently , using alot of toilet wipes but mum wont let me clean her.. She has to do it with encouragement from me. Have to say it in matter of fact way or she shouts out thats it ive had enough.... Are you cleaning yourself like this .
This is hardest part of dementia with mum so far