My mum was diagnosed with mixed dementia (not specified, but not alzheimer's) which mainly causes her to have memory loss, both long-term and short term memory are very poor.
We moved her into a flat in an extra care block, but she doesn't need physical care so we don't have a care package for her. She won't avail herself of any of the social activities in the block, and entirely relies on me for her whole life. I clean, do washing for her and take her shopping. She will not even go to the bins on her own. I organise her pills and handle all her financial affairs. She has handed her whole life over to me and has become a child. I already have an adult daughter with moderate learning difficulties who is dependent on me and my husband is supportive, but has bouts of ill-health himself, and is not strong emotionally.
My brother lives 3 hours away and swans down every 6 months for a brief visit. I have a dear cousin who comes to see her regularly (every few weeks) and who is supportive, but also lives far away. I had 4 years of retirement when I could please myself and to be honest have never felt close to my mother and we have always argued. She presents herself well to strangers, wardens, etc, and colours her hair, wears make up and refuses to associate with those "poor old things" who walk with sticks or who are in wheelchairs! Not realising that they are still independent and have their marbles. She is 87 and I don't know how her particular form of dementia will progress. She has a thyroid condition and a mild heart condition and osteoporosis which are all controlled with drugs. She is quite well and stable at the moment. She is a pleasant and loving person but her memory hinders her life and restricts it enormously.
Now the moan - having to look after her is a burden to me, I am sorry to say I wish I knew how long it will go on. I need to make the most of my own life and to live as long a life as possible for my daughter's sake. I know very many people have it much much worse and do it with a smile so I apologise to all of them. I try to be positive and patient but it feels like a ball and chain round my neck. Any comments even to tell me to put up with it will be welcomed!
We moved her into a flat in an extra care block, but she doesn't need physical care so we don't have a care package for her. She won't avail herself of any of the social activities in the block, and entirely relies on me for her whole life. I clean, do washing for her and take her shopping. She will not even go to the bins on her own. I organise her pills and handle all her financial affairs. She has handed her whole life over to me and has become a child. I already have an adult daughter with moderate learning difficulties who is dependent on me and my husband is supportive, but has bouts of ill-health himself, and is not strong emotionally.
My brother lives 3 hours away and swans down every 6 months for a brief visit. I have a dear cousin who comes to see her regularly (every few weeks) and who is supportive, but also lives far away. I had 4 years of retirement when I could please myself and to be honest have never felt close to my mother and we have always argued. She presents herself well to strangers, wardens, etc, and colours her hair, wears make up and refuses to associate with those "poor old things" who walk with sticks or who are in wheelchairs! Not realising that they are still independent and have their marbles. She is 87 and I don't know how her particular form of dementia will progress. She has a thyroid condition and a mild heart condition and osteoporosis which are all controlled with drugs. She is quite well and stable at the moment. She is a pleasant and loving person but her memory hinders her life and restricts it enormously.
Now the moan - having to look after her is a burden to me, I am sorry to say I wish I knew how long it will go on. I need to make the most of my own life and to live as long a life as possible for my daughter's sake. I know very many people have it much much worse and do it with a smile so I apologise to all of them. I try to be positive and patient but it feels like a ball and chain round my neck. Any comments even to tell me to put up with it will be welcomed!
