Hi, I haven't posted for a while but recently my relationship with my wife (who is 60 and diagnosed with Alzheimers 5 years ago) has seriously deteriorated. When we started on this journey I naively thought I would be able to cope, we had a very happy loving marriage. I have reached the point now however where on some days I can hardly bear to be in the same room as her she annoys me so much. Its's not one specific thing but the culmination of so many. Although physically fit she is now incapable of writing, reading, speaking coherently or of understanding much of what is said. She spends most of the day wandering through the house constantly humming the same inane little tune to herself. She is obsessed with finding her parents who died years ago, whenever we go out she generally takes a lot of persuading to go and always becomes angry when we reach the destination because she thinks we were going to see her parents. Recently she has refused to go into the shops when we get there or get back into the car to come home. She also refuses to go to the toilet even though it is obvious she wants to go, she can go hours between visits until it becomes desperate and increasingly she is wetting herself. Because of these issues I have almost stopped taking her out other than for medical appointments. In the last few months she has refused to allow the dentist and a chiropodist examine her and at her annual check up at he doctors she wouldn't allow the nurse to touch her, taking bloods is out of the question, all we could do was to get her to stand on the scales albeit with her shoes and coat on. She will wake up several times during the night and either sit up humming that stupid tune, ask over and over again for her parents or ask to go to the toilet. Having gotten up to put the light on and show her where the bathroom is she then refuses to go, only to want to go again 20 minutes later and so on. So most days start with me being very tired and not in the best of moods. When she then refuses to get in the shower, throws dirty underwear in my face, starts shouting obscenities at me, flicking soap and water at me, refusing to dry herself, snatch the clean clothes out of my hands I now tend to lose my cool and have sworn more at her in the last 18 months than I have in the previous 62 years of my life put together. Even when I leave the room to get away from her she tends to appear ghost like in the room I have gone to a couple of minutes later and starts humming again. I know I shouldn't but I now get so angry I argue back, I tell her in no uncertain terms to shut up when she starts humming, and to my shame I have come right out and told her that her parents are dead and generally have to storm out for fear of doing something I'd regret. I feel so tired and weak after one of these episodes that I then just can be bothered to make any effort to interact with her at all. I'll make meals and hot drinks, ensure she has her medication, prompt her to go to the toilet, I have given up any attempts at distracting her or making small talk and we can often spend most of the day hardly speaking. I end up feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself but know that tomorrow will bring more of the same and I will probably react in he same way. Worst of all I am becoming isolated from friends and family because she becomes angry and aggressive if I speak to people. I therefore can't invite people to our home because she becomes so disruptive and will swear at people. If I want to see anyone it has to be on one of the two afternoons I have off when a carer comes in, as you can imagine this is very restrictive. I even have to make phone calls upstairs because she becomes angry when I am on the phone. In particular it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to have much of relationship with my two grown up daughters. They are very understanding and happy to visit and be sworn at but I would be on edge the whole of the time and would ultimately end up getting very angry that it isn't worth it. We do have some good friends who have stuck by us, my wife in particular has a friend who visits from quite a distance for an afternoon most weeks which means I can get out for a third afternoon. They always have a good time but my wife will get very hostile towards her friend on my return. I'm not sure where I go from here, because she is relatively young any suitable day care facilities are few and far between if there are any at all who would have her, that's always supposing she cold be persuaded to go. At her annual check up the nurse suggested I speak to a GP to review what to do next. I'll leave that until after Christmas now but I am not too hopeful of anything coming from it. Sorry this has gone on a bit, thank you for taking the time to read, any thoughts would be welcome.