1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Have we had a break through...?

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by Kate P, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    God, I hope so!!

    Dad has finally made the appointment for mum to go to Walton to see the specialists (I think that's what they are - mum's consultant referred her).

    He's also asked me to look into how he invokes his POA, he's asked me to get the forms for all the benefits he can claim and is prepared to consider going on a "carers course" at our local college.

    Admitedly, I'm doing all the donkey work but considering his usual ostritch behaviour I think it's quite a breakthrough.

    I shall put a lot of it down to me taking all your excellent advice and starting to restrict how much I will do for him, as he just won't get outside help (carers etc) so I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction for us all.

    He is still letting her drive (she was out and about before I went to work this morning) but I've reported this to the DVLA and I can't do much else about that.
     
  2. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Hi Kate,
    I'm glad your dad is starting to look into what is available to both him and your mum. Good luck with that.

    It is worth you contacting the Alzheimer's Society in your area to see if they run a carer's course. They are often run 3 times a year, over 9 weeks and cover everything. They would welcome you along as they're not just for the primary carer. The support is wonderful and it's amazing what useful information you can glean, from both the speakers and the other carers.

    Sorry to hear that your dad is still letting your mum drive, it must be such a worry for you. Would your dad consider being a passenger with her so that he can see what affect the disease is having on her concentration/reaction?

    Take care

    Jackie
     
  3. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    He says he has and says she's fine but it's hard to trust his judgement as he doesn't want the hell that will come from taking her car away - this is how it's come down to me reporting it.

    She always used to play computer games and she can't anymore as she can't react in time to whatever is happening on the screen - that to me shows delayed reactions that would be similar to that on the road.

    Plus her friend of thirty years has refused to get in the car with her anymore after a "hairy moment".
     
  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Kate, just wanted to say how much I admire the way you are handling the situation with both mum and dad. Sounds as if something positive may come about.
    I must add how much information and help I got from attending one of these courses. At my course we had two carer and daughter couples, it does not have to be for partners only.

    It was the fringe elements which helped me most: introduction to the local continence nurse, 3 years before I ever needed to contact her, and lots of other helpful advice re nutrition etc.

    But well done you for getting this far with helping dad, without taking the reins.
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Well done, Kate. That is indeed a breakthrough!

    Let's hope this means less stress for you in the future.

    Love,
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,586
    Kent
    I`m so pleased for you Kate. I know how much you`ve put into this and now you are being listened to.

    Love xx
     
  7. Kate P

    Kate P Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    565
    Merseyside
    Well, mum has a follow up appointment tomorrow with her consultant after her brain scan.

    Given how mum and dad are there was no way I was letting them go on their own. I really hope the consultant doesn't rat me out for telling her to report mum to DVLA:eek:

    Anyway wish me luck!!!
     
  8. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Good luck, Kate. Let's hope this is the second of a good run!

    I'm sure the consultant won't let on about the driving, and i hope your dad takes on board whatever he has to say.

    I'll be thinking of you,

    Love,
     
  9. Sofia

    Sofia Registered User

    Hi Kate

    It's so difficult to take the first few steps. My dad refused to see what was going on and it was down to me and my sister to make the doctors appointments etc. I was hard to do but it could no longer carry on as it was. Mum has been diagnosed about 3 years now and dad is her full time carer, it was been a tricky time but I don't regret taking the lead and getting mum the help she really needed.

    Good luck, my thoughts will be with you as going through the initial assessments etc can be an unsettling time.

    love

    Sofia
    x
     
  10. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Kate

    Good luck for tomorrow

    I've got everything crossed for you!:)

    Love xx
     
  11. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Good Luck Kate

    I hope that it went well today.

    (((hugs)))

    Mameeskye
     

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