1. LittleL

    LittleL Registered User

    Sep 14, 2006
    16
    East sussex
    Hello all,
    I haven't posted for a very long time and a lot has happened. Where do I start? When I first found this website I wasn't sure if mum was showing signs, I now have my answer.
    Mum became increasingly confused to the point where she had to leave her sheltered flat because she wasn't able to look after herself. She is diabetic which complicates things further. She went into a care home and was doing well initially. This was just last year, March to be precise. She was able to dress, feed and sort herself out going to the toilet. Her short term memory was shocking but compared to some of the other residents she was doing ok. She became ill around October time and was kept in bed. Unfortunately she developed cracked and sore heels and was kept off her feet. Unbeknown to us she had also had a fall and had to be admitted to hospital. We were not informed of this until she was back in the care home! We beleive she may have suffered a stroke. It seems that everything happened overnight because she was suddenly unable to walk. She then got ill again and she was once again put to bed. Her heels were still not better and added to this she developed a pressure sore ( the care home did not have a special mattress to use ). She was in bed leading up to christmas but the staff brought her downstairs on Christmas day. This was the last time I or my family had a conversation with her. She was put back to bed and the sore got worse and worse to the the extent that we had to move her to a nursing home nearer to us. This was in March this year. She has been bedridden really since last October kept in isolation it would seem in her bedroom.
    Fast forward, she was in the nursing home just 2 weeks and we had to have her admitted to hospital as she was not eating or drinking. She had a urine infection and was rehydrated in the hospital. She still has the pressure sore even now. Once she was rehydrated she seemed to start eating small amounts of food.
     
  2. LittleL

    LittleL Registered User

    Sep 14, 2006
    16
    East sussex
    Sorry, here is the rest.

    My husband and myself went to see her on Sunday and whilst we were there two Dr's arrived. The nursing home had called them in because my mum hadn't been eating or indeed drinking very much at all. We didn't know they were coming as the nursing home had not informed either myself or my brother. The Dr's examined my mum and then said we would need to have a chat. I knew what they wanted to discuss. My husband stepped in and made the decision that mum should be admitted to hospital again for rehydration just this once as we fully understand that this cannot keep happening. The reason we made this decision is because just one week earlier he had found his own mother dead and didn't think that we could really cope with loosing both our mothers just a week apart. We are all desperately sad because the fact is that my mum will be coming out of hosptal soon to die in the nursing home. Thanks for reading.
    LittleL.:(
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Why do you ask `have you been selfish`. It sounds as if you have done everything possible and are filled with sadness.
     
  4. LittleL

    LittleL Registered User

    Sep 14, 2006
    16
    East sussex
    Hi,
    I just feel that we've put our own grief before my mum's wishes. I can't believe that everything has just happened so fast and that it has come to this.
    LittleL.
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear LittleL,

    Life has to be a balancing act sometimes. Your dear mum may well improve with the rehydration, and still have a bit more time with you, albeit in the nursing home.

    I would however ask the Nursing Home to keep you more fully informed. Keep on to them about the pressure sore too.

    Sending you love n'hugs as I imagine you are feeling low.
    Stay strong.
     
  6. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello: I do not believe you are in any way 'selfish'.

    Your Mum sounds a very sick lady. I believe the Nursing Home should be pulling all stops to make her comfortable.

    I also believe if you are not already being funded by the NHS you should enquire about fastrack assessment for funding. It sounds mercenary but it may bring about more attention to the 'nursing' element for the pressure sores etc. IE if funded by NHS they will fund the purchase of an air mattress and any other extras needed.

    Good luck Jan
     
  7. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Re pressure sores etc

    P.S. They use them in Lionel's care home too.I have found the website for inflatable pressure relief devices .

    My brother was supplied with a cushion for his wheelchair, and heel cushions when he was in the hospital.

    They certainly work well.

    Link below.
    http://www.reposedirect.com/

    I have no connections with this company......but I can say their products work.

    P.S. They use them in Lionels' care home too.
     
  8. LittleL

    LittleL Registered User

    Sep 14, 2006
    16
    East sussex
    Hi BeckyJan,

    My mum is funded and she does have an air mattress. It just seems that she has given up because she is so isolated in her bedroom. We've been told by the nursing home that the pressure sore IS healing up nicely and that once it does my mum can be taken downstairs.I feel that she needs the stimulation now as soon it will be too late. she is sitting up in hospital although she sleeps most of the time but when she is awake she is watching everything. She doesn't speak anymore and hasn't done so since christmas so it's really difficult to know what her thoughts are. She still isn't eating despite being rehydrated. I just feel that we may have let her down because she dioesn't want this but who knows?
    LittleL.
     
  9. LittleL

    LittleL Registered User

    Sep 14, 2006
    16
    East sussex
    Hi Connie,

    Thank you for the link. Our posts have crossed!!!

    LittleL.
     

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