Have ignored it for too long.. now Dad

[Linbrusco]

15 mnths ago, my Mum went into care. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2013.

Dad had tests, CTscan, and memory tests 2014. Has frontal lobe atrophy, ischemic white matter, and another area of note... ex boxer & smokes. Memory test score was 82/100. Particular issues with visuospatial. He was diagnosed with MCI.
A year later he had a repeat memory test scored 84/100.

It would be fair to say, Dad has probably had some cognitive impairment all his life ( could be due to boxing days, he denies concussions ?)
His sister died 4 yrs ago, of a heart attack, and had unspecified dementia. She would not have tests.
His younger brother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers.

It has become apparent since Mum has been in care, how much Mum probably did for Dad and around the home, and to an extent I am sure she covered up a lot. Even in her final days at home with Alz.
Personally I still don't find Dads memory all that bad for his age ( 80 next month) but I do suspect frontal temporal dementia. Cognition, behaviour, apathy, hygiene are all getting worse.
In recent months, I suspect some incontinence, or just due to hygiene, I'm not sure which.
I asked Dad, he denied it. I am constantly on at him to change his clothes.
I have now gotten him to admit to a urinary problem. He had surgery 3 yrs ago for prostatitis.

Dad denies anything and and everything. Will lie to his GP, and say what he wants him to hear.
This is nothing new for Dad. He always thinks he is in A1 health.
Am taking him to see his GP this week, and I will get him to refer to our Memory Team again.
I am Dads POA for Health & Welfare.

I am still dealing with Mum, and Mental Health Team due to a decline in her Alz.
The thought of the whole process starting again, fills me with dread. In hindsight, I wish Mum & Dad had made each of us girls their POA! instead of me for both

 

[Bod]

Because of your mum, you now have a set of skills, which will make your life easier, you know where to go for help, what words get reactions from authorities.
Admittedly the methods that got mum to co-operate, may not work with father!
You know that a different approach, may be better, rather than keep trying a failed approach.
Good luck, we're all behind you.

Bod

 

[canary]

You know my thoughts Lin. I seconds Bods statement that we are all behind you and also that you know where to get help.
People with FTD frequently have few problems with memory. Go with your gut instinct.

 

[Linbrusco]

My brother moved in with my Dad a year ago. Between shift work and visiting his children he is hardly there, but enough I know for Dad to not qualify for home help, and in short its actually going to hinder a lot of support, but brother is not in a position to move out.
In saying that Dad would not agree to any form of assistance. He sabotaged alot of efforts when Mum was at home when it came to cleaners and personal care.
Over the past 4 yrs since Mums diagnosis, attempts to get him to join senior citizen groups , carer groups was met with a resounding No!
I think this is what fills me with dread the most. At least Mum was more accepting & obliging.

 

[canary]

Try not to look too far ahead; the first thing is to get a diagnosis.
I know that you have a lot on your plate at the moment.