After taking forever to make a decision about mum's care I arranged for her to go into a local care home. I took advice from GP's, CPN's, Alzheimer's society and Social Workers. Mum has been there 2 weeks. Dad has been begging me for months to sort it out.
The problem is she can't remember why she can't just go home (dad couldn't cope and there was escalating physical and verbal and emotional abuse). Sometimes she remembers and says 'you've probably done the right thing' but other times she doesn't.
Dad doesn't help either, saying he misses her and forgetting how bad things were. he also has dementia amongst other things.
Mum has moderate to severe dementia and poor mobility but can walk with a stick short distances.
She has settled reasonably well, eating well, although some restless nights, care staff good but feels her independence has gone, there is no one really to talk to, and no where to walk to. The residents mostly sleep.She is pretty much chair bound all day unless someone comes to take her out. The staff don't seem to like her getting up. They also do everything for her, taking away the bit of independence she had left. I've mentioned this to the CH but it has not changed much. They seem to have a system.
I have been running myself ragged visiting and taking her out but I can't keep it up with a young family.
Dad wants her home, mum wants to go home, and I can see its not perfect and I am torn what to do.
I'm not sure how mum can get some of her independence back. Do I need to consider another home? One with more freedom?
The problem is she can't remember why she can't just go home (dad couldn't cope and there was escalating physical and verbal and emotional abuse). Sometimes she remembers and says 'you've probably done the right thing' but other times she doesn't.
Dad doesn't help either, saying he misses her and forgetting how bad things were. he also has dementia amongst other things.
Mum has moderate to severe dementia and poor mobility but can walk with a stick short distances.
She has settled reasonably well, eating well, although some restless nights, care staff good but feels her independence has gone, there is no one really to talk to, and no where to walk to. The residents mostly sleep.She is pretty much chair bound all day unless someone comes to take her out. The staff don't seem to like her getting up. They also do everything for her, taking away the bit of independence she had left. I've mentioned this to the CH but it has not changed much. They seem to have a system.
I have been running myself ragged visiting and taking her out but I can't keep it up with a young family.
Dad wants her home, mum wants to go home, and I can see its not perfect and I am torn what to do.
I'm not sure how mum can get some of her independence back. Do I need to consider another home? One with more freedom?