Hating Wheelchairs

[snoggy1one]

Each time I see mum she gets more and more frustrated as she cannot walk unaided now and struggles a little with a walker but mostly needs to be pushed in a wheelchair, and she absolutely hates the restrictions it brings and tries like mad to make any excuse not to go into a wheelchair.

I am worried that she is going to have a nasty fall as she cannot be watched constantly and has a tendency to fall backwards and its pretty much like trying to keep a very drunken person upright at times as somehow her balance has gone.

Mum is in denial of everything and lately she seems to be getting more and more dependent on her wheelchair, when she used to be able to walk around slowly and independently. She is becoming very frustrated and is actually falling and toppling backwards at times. I am wondering is this part of the alzheimer's diseasei.e. becoming unable to walk and lose balance, or is it just old age? I don't even know what kind of alzheimer's mum has as I hear there are difference types.

Mum is getting so bad tempered when I take her out in her wheelchair or when she has to be wheeled around in the care home. Mum used to be so active and absolutely hates the restrictions of being in a wheelchair and keeps insisting she wants to get out of it and walk and then we have a fall out as I have to keep her safe. How can I get her used to being transported around in a chair now? Maybe I should ask for some physio? Or maybe its too dangerous as she is very wobbly?

I don't know what to do really? Any suggestions?

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Would she manage with a walker? I'm clutching at straws here.

In taking her out, I think you have to take the bull by the horns and say "no wheelchair, no going out". Tell her it's only until the doctor says so - blaming the doctor is always a good one, as some people respond to authority figures. If your mother doesn't have such a response, at least she has someone else to blame.

 

[Eternity]

Hi Snoggy1One

Canadian Joanne's advice is really good.

I really understand how frustrated you and your mum must be. My mum had her wheelchair at home for 3 months and refused to even try it. One day we had to go and see a sick relative and the only way we could get there was if she was in her chair. She went in it that time and then for another few months refused. After that when her walking got so bad and she couldn't go out, she would accept using it if no one she knew would see her in it (pride?). That's how we started getting her used to it - secret trips out! Where ever we go once there I try and get her out of the chair into a normal chair - so it is just the vehicle if you get what I mean.

Now she uses it without too much fuss (i say it is cheaper than using a taxi!), even though she still thinks she can walk fine -somehow she now knows she needs to get into the wheelchair.

It is hard that so many things with Alzheimer's seem to be a fight and require endless patience

Really interesting what you say about your mum falling backwards. Mine does that too. Around the house she uses a walking stick in one hand and me holding her on the other. She falls (or nearly falls) weekly. Doctors say it is a mixture of arthritis and the dementia. No cure although physio can help. Your mum should have been referred to a Falls clinic to check out causes of falls as it could be a number of things. That may be worth looking into.

I guess her legs have become weaker, like your mum, mine doesn't do the walking she used to and gets frustrated that she can't be up and down all the time like she used to be. It is really hard keeping an eye on her 24/7 to try and stop her falling.

Keep trying and do get advice from the home and GP. Good luck

 

[snoggy1one]

Thanks for all the replies. Got some sound advice and great ideas.

Its nice to have other peoples opinions and I forgot about the falls clinic, I will look into that. I kind of remember mum went to that years ago but I think they gave her about six sessions of physio then left her to it..???
It is really frustrating to see mum deteriorating so much as she was always so lean and fit and young for her age and really active and able. In comparison now mum is very weak and feeble and obviously in denial of her capabilities. Every day is a battle for one reason or another.

Today I suddenly realised how great TP is, because when I was trying to solve somebody else problems and was replying to a TP post, I forgot about my own worries and problems... well, temporarily any way,... and it felt sooooooooooo good. xxxx

Thanks to everyone who has listened to my moans and helped me. Sometimes the mountains we have to climb seem really steep and its brilliant to have a helping hand. xxxxxxx

 

[nerak]

my mum I notice has very bad balance which is a worry I notice when she walks into the kitchen she almost tips to one side like drunk? it must be part of the illness when I mentioned it to doc he looked concerned but she hasn't been diagnosed yet.

She is VERY vain poor thing and will not even wear her hearing aids she definetly needs a zimmer frame for getting up but again refuses.

I suppose she is not that old only 74 and just refuses to get old OR is this just the stubbornness of this illness I don't think id like to be told you need a zimmer frame!

sometimes im so tired from her I could do with it!!

 

[1954]

My MIL leans to the side when walking. When we are out she gets so tired and shuffles, trips constantly but is holding on to us so doesn't actually fall. Wheelchair Walking stick Zimmer frame Absolutely a no no, because as she says there is nothing wrong with her and they are for old people The fact we can not go out long and have to come home because she can not 'take' anymore she obviously forgets!

It is the dementia nothing else with MIL. Her knee has been replaced her bunions done. She flatly states she is in no pain so it has to be her dementia