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Has mum’s stuff really been stolen?

Metalpetal

Registered User
May 10, 2020
113
It feels as though we’re on the start of a journey and have so much to learn about what it’s like to have a parent with Alzheimers... this forum is so helpful!

There’s one specific thing I wouldn’t mind putting to you all, to gauge your views... when my brother had a quick chat with mum earlier (now he’s dropped a phone off to her!) she mentioned that her purse had gone missing for a while, but then she got it back and all was there still. But that now she’s noticed that her bank cards have gone missing.

My brother (who hasn’t really had a chance to research/read much about PWD yet) immediately went down the route of believing her and panicking that her stuff has been stolen, and maybe money stolen from her account. I, however, immediately wondered if any of this is actually true? She’s told us before that her rings had gone missing, but I can see she’s wearing them when we FaceTime. Yes, her phone definitely does seem to have ‘disappeared’ - but I’m not sure I believe it’s been stolen, I suspect she ‘hid’ it in the bin or similar? My brother called the ward and they checked mum’s purse and confirmed that her debit card is there - we’re not sure if she had a credit card with them or not. But she did have to credit cards from other banks in there, safe and sound.

The hospital are very closely monitoring who goes on/off the ward at the moment, due to Covid... so surely the likelihood of mum’s stuff being stolen is quite low In any case?

From experience, do you think it’s possible she’s imagining that this has all happened (missing purse etc) rather than anything actually having happened?

Thanks in advance.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,525
Nottinghamshire
It is possible that nothing’s been stolen. My dad used to say his stuff had been stolen and I’d find it where he’d left it (e.g. bank card still in wallet). He only had one card and in the end he gave it to me for safe keeping (I always took him shopping). Then he’d forget and tell everyone it was stolen...

As you say it’s less likely anything will go missing with no visitors allowed.

Is there anyway you can get your mum’s cards off her while she’s still in hospital? I used to leave my dad with just a small amount of cash in his wallet - not that he ever used it.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,251
Do not leave anything in the hospital that matters if it goes missing.
Certianly no bank cards, or jewelry, small amount of cash if the WRVS trolley comes around, is all that is needed.

Bod
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,395
Hi @Metalpetal It is quite likely that your mum is imagining it, but to be on the safe side I'd see if it is possible to get the cards back. Not so much that someone would steal them, but that your mum might hide them in a bin or similar. The same for her rings etc unless she never takes them off.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,221
Normally this would be easy to resolve - a relative could go in and take the purse and keep it safe. Would the staff be able to bag up the purse and leave it at reception for your brother to collect? I'm not sure how secure an option that would be but worth asking. If you do that though, obviously your mother will call repeatedly saying her purse has been stolen...

My mother used to lose her purse and her keys when she was at home on her own. The keys were always going missing but they were always found, sometimes under her pillow. One day her debit card went missing, but after a flurry of concern it was found (I think it was actually still in her purse). So it's likely all your mother's things are still safe, but you can't be sure.
 

Metalpetal

Registered User
May 10, 2020
113
Thanks everyone - I think getting the stuff from her sounds like a good and sensible idea. Our worry is that she’ll then permanently think it’s been stolen! Gosh such a lot to learn and figure out. On a practical front, her bank are currently doing the necessary to give me full access to mum’s finances, and remove hers. I did the paperwork on Tuesday, so there’s a chance they’ve already stopped her cards, but if not they will soon. So leaving them with her won’t actually be any sort of risk = if they get into the wrong hands, there’s nothing anyone can do with them.

Thanks for your replies - sorry I didn’t get a chance to reply yesterday, we had no water all day here in our part of Bristol!!! A burst main along the road from us. We had emergency water distribution tankers set up in a local playing field for us to go and fill up containers. All very dramatic (and not ideal on such a hot day, and when the virus means we have to keep squeaky clean!). All’s back to normal now thankfully :)