I have spent the last 8 out of 10 Christmas's with my mum. Last year was a struggle she came to stay with us as always but she needed 24 care. Mum Could not grasp the day to day stuff, fell down the stairs and did not seem to settle at all. We live 350 miles apart and I knew it would be strange for her even though she knows our house well. However the big day was great and with a big table of people around and chaos, mum's illness didn't seem to matter too much. This year mum was properly diagnosed with mixed dementia (something I have realised and tried to get recognised by her and her GP for two years)and has since experienced a rapid deterioration and no longer has capacity and at present is in a nursing home. Mum will never be able to go back home. To bring her down here will be difficult but do-able. It's a six hour drive so it would take me away from my kids at a busy time for two days just before Christmas, to drive up and bring her down with me. Or I could fly with her but i have no idea how this would work As last year she flew down and told us she didn't go through security as they have taken it out of the airport and she also lost a lot of money from her suitcase. She has arthritis so I would need wheelchairs at both ends of the journey- something I think mums pride would struggle with. I'm not sure how stressful it would be for her being in such an environment. I the don't know how we would all cope when she is down. I know she would need constant care and I get that it's my turn to do this for her as she brought me up. I'm just so worried I wouldn't cope but the though of Christmas without her is unbearable. I can't visit to say hi and the phone no longer works as she is distant and confused and often cuts off mid sentence and says bye. I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact I've lost my confidant and now the thought of her not being able to enjoy a normal Christmas breaks my heart. What do I do for the best...I know it s over 100 days away but it has always been an amazing part of my life, especially now I have children. Has a anyone else got complications like this to over come at this time of year?