Has anyone had to deal with a post-mortem?

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by LittleFeet74, Mar 20, 2015.

  1. LittleFeet74

    LittleFeet74 Registered User

    Aug 30, 2014
    14
    My Dad died on March 12th in hospital. He had had a fall down the stairs and broken his neck, following this he had surgery but with all his other health issues he was unable to recover. The Dr's said that as Dad had come into hospital following a fall/ accident it would need to be sent to the coroner. We were told it was pretty straight forward & as the Dr's were expecting this outcome there wouldn't really be a need for a post-mortem. The coroner had other ideas and has requested a post-mortem to determine cause of death which is due to happen in the morning. I am beside myself really, that they are putting my Dad through this after all he has already been through. We just want to lay him to rest. I am also concerned that the coroner is then going to request an inquest. I've got no faith in the coroner, we were unable to get through to anyone on the phone so went to the coroner's court to get information as we felt so helpless. There we were met with the most unsympathetic, insensitive people. The senior coroner told us that Dad wasn't the only person who had died and he would get to it when he gets to it. For the last week I have been holding myself together as best I can but I'm crumbling. If anyone has any experience of having to deal with post-mortem, inquest or the coroners court I would appreciate your thoughts.
     
  2. Gigglemore

    Gigglemore Registered User

    Oct 18, 2013
    526
    British Isles
    Just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are having to deal with this while you are trying to deal with the grief of losing your Dad.

    Disgraceful that you were treated without compassion by the coroner's office as communicating sympathetically with the bereaved should surely be an essential part of the training. Hope that your Dad's body is released to you very soon so that you can arrange a fitting "goodbye". Take care.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,739
    Salford
    My mum died and although she'd been in the hospital for the 48 hours before part of the time in A&E, then an assessment area she was only "admitted onto the ward" a few hours before she died no none of the doctors on the ward would sign a death certificate. She had AZ, a heart condition and kidney problems but it had to go to the coroner and to add to the problems it was new year's eve too.
    In spite of the timing the coroners were very good they phoned me several times and kept me informed, asked about how I was and pointed me to various sources of help if I needed them, so totally unlike your experience with them, but I guess it depends on where you live.
    My experience of post mortems is as a nurse I went to several and assisted in a few and I felt the respect accorded to what was always called "the patient" was in death the same as that accorded in life.
    There would only be an inquest if the outcome was in any way suspicious or inconsistent was found and I doubt it will although it should never have happened in a hospital so there may be some ass covering going on.
    Sorry about your loss LittleFeet, it's never easy.
    K
     
  4. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    My Husband had a pm but the people I spoke to at the Coroner's office were sensitive over every issue. I'm so sorry that you are finding things different. Some people are really not suited to the career they have chosen.

    Thinking of you

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,101
    Kent
    Some people are so thoughtless, they fail to stop and think how upsetting their behaviour is.
     
  6. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    #6 meme, Mar 20, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2015
    What a rude and insensitive coroner...they should give you a date for the post mortem and the release of your Dads body to the funeral director...if you have the strength , complain now, or maybe write a strong letter later on .I requested a copy of my mothers post mortem report...you have to ask and be aware it may be upsetting (it is) but I needed to see it. I had to wait a long time and had a lovely coroner at the end of the phone who would say not done yet but call me in a week, which I did untill it eventually was completed and sent to me.
     
  7. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,746
    Female
    Scotland
    My brother died in hospital and I am filled with regret that he did not have a postmortem. Since 2007 I have tried to understand how he could have died so suddenly and will probably never know.

    This is not an easy time but in the long run it is better to have answers than think about it for the rest of your life.
     
  8. LittleFeet74

    LittleFeet74 Registered User

    Aug 30, 2014
    14
    Thank you all for your kind comments. We have now laid Dad to rest. The post-mortem didn't reveal anything we didn't know and now the coroner has requested an inquest. Again, we do not feel there is a need for this but we are stuck in the process.

    Thanks for the advice meme, I also think I will want to see a copy of the report.
    Marionq - sorry to hear that you were left with so many questions, that must be very difficult. I think for us the situation is different because we know what happened & what led to Dad's death. I hope you find some peace with the "not knowing". Hugs to you.
     

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