Has anyone else heard of an experience so appalling?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Les, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. okmurrays

    okmurrays Registered User

    Oct 17, 2007
    kelowna, bc, canada
    Your experience made me weep. Thank goodness you discovered the whole shocking situation when you did.
    My heart goes out to you.

    One thought, as John Humphries from Radio 4 was so empathetic, it is worth highlighting your experience as a follow up to the recent Radio 4 coverage?

    I didn't listen in as I'm in Canada, but anything we can do to make a noise must surely help?

    Thinking of you.

    Sharon in BC, minus 9'C but still smiling
  2. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    I know children are our most important asset, but why are the elderly and infirm not subject to similar laws and regulations which so rightly afford child protection?

    love from Sammyb
  3. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006

    Please to read that, wishing you and your mother all the best in your father future care care xx
  4. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005

    Really pleased you've had a positive outcome. Your family must be heartily relieved after your dad's shocking treatment. Hope things settle down for him (and all of you).

  5. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Les

    Really hope your Dad settles and is happy in this new care home.

    It might be strange to him at first and take him a little while to settle in, especially after the trauma of the last home, but if it is a caring home, then he will settle.

    I would be interested to know of the outcome, or any replies to youer letters

  6. Les

    Les Registered User

    Jun 23, 2004
    Hello everyone - dad moved into the new home yesterday. Too early days yet to know how he is, as the move was very difficult for him, but at least he's out of the other place.

    I haven't yet had responses from the people we REALLY want to hear from - they will all have received our report by now.

    But you might be interested to hear that at the old place:

    -The manager has resigned

    -The deputy manager has gone on 'extended leave due to stress' - her choice. But we have been assured by the acting manager that if she walks back into the home she will be immediately suspended.

    -the 'carer' who we had most problems with has been sacked by the acting manager.

    It's a start. but it's not enough.

  7. 117katie

    117katie Guest

    Well done, Lesley

    Hope your Dad soon gets used to his new surroundings.

    What was it Neil Armstrong said when he first set foot on the moon: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" or words to that effect. That is how you should feel at the moment, having made such huge strides in the nasty business you found yourself and your Dad involved in. Well done, on behalf of all of us who may find ourselves in similar circumstances - but I hope not!!

    Chin up! You will all come through this - we will all be thinking of you.

  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    And did no-one know of their failings until you came on the scene, Les? :rolleyes:

    As you say, it`s a start, and well done for that, but it does make me wonder how long this level of `care` has been accepted practice.

    I hope your father will now enjoy some proper care and recover from the trauma he suffered.

    Love xx
  9. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    So glad that you had the courage and strength to speak out Les,

    but saddened that your dear father had to go through so much.

    I do hope that you all get some comfort and peace now. You are a

    good son.
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Les, it must make you feel a bit better that someone has taken notice. At least the owners of the home now know what was going on, and must be afraid of losing their licence.

    I'll be interested in wht other response you get, and particularly from SS, who should have been aware.

    I hope your dad settles well in the new home, after all his upset. At least the staff there know you'll kick up if he's not well treated!

  11. Les

    Les Registered User

    Jun 23, 2004
    Thank you, yes, though I am a tiny bit nervous of being seen as a 'troublemaker' by the new home. I just want Dad's life to be easy and comfortable now. But despite not necessarily knowing the full story I think though that the new home are aware of the seriousness of the situation, so they do understand.

    I think my Mum has spoken to SS, who are as shocked as us. The problem was that although they arranged the respite, we 'chose' the home, as we had had meetings there which were so positive - when we were lied to of course. but you're right it is important that SS know what it is like, so they don't place anybody else there! It's a real lesson on not taking things at face value.

    I have had a response back from the Healthcare group who run the home and they say we will have the full results of the investigation in 14 days. I suspect the Care Commission investigation might take longer.

    Connie, thank you for your warm words - my father has two good sons, but I'm the daughter actually! This name of mine always seems to cause problems. I blame it on my husband as he's the one who shortens it all the time, and it's become a habit for me now!
  12. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Sweetheart, apologies.

    Your dear dad has a wonderful daughter. Trust that puts the record straight. Yes, I feel sure your brothers are equally good. As a complete family you have all had to go through so much.

    Sincerly hope that things calm down now, and dad can be settled in comfortably.
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Good am glad to read that yes It's a start... ,also
    hopefully now it wont happen to anyone else . well done
  14. Chrissyan

    Chrissyan Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    N E England
    Lesley: It will never take back the horrors that happened to your Dad, but what a swift result! :) Thank goodness they are all out & hopefully out of caring for good. Hope your Dad settles in the new home & they don't let you down.:)
  15. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Trouble maker

    Thank God you had the strength, courage and tenacity to do all that you have done. On top of the huge, huge distress you and your family have had to endure (which would have been enough to cripple many people) you have reported this to, hopefully, enough 'powers that be', to ensure a thorough investigation is undertaken. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking this action. None of us must ever think we are 'trouble makers' by making our concerns known. In your case of such enormous abuse I do not think the abusers should merely 'get the sack'. Who knows if they will at some future date be placed in a position of trust again? This is the only way that we as carers can small step by small step, try to make sure such horrific situations will not happen again.
    xxx TinaT
  16. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    leigh lancashire
    Dear Les,resignations,extended leave and dismissal!It's obvious theres a problem at the home.I hope the acting manager can get it back to where it should be,and thats providing the care and love to residents that is needed.Well done!Your dads new home will obviously know the reasons for the transfer from that terrible home,and i am sure they will feel as sickened as us all at his treatment.a respectable care home won't see you as a troublemaker,just a caring daughter who is entitled to have a say and input in their parents care.I am so pleased that your dad got moved so quick and wish you both the best for the future.I look forward to your updates.

    love elainex
  17. cynron

    cynron Registered User

    Sep 26, 2005
    east sussex
    My husband also suffered on a smaller scale in his first E M I home.

    He went in walking and able to go to the toilet.He was soon in pads.

    I removed him 5 weeks later he needed an ambulance to transfer him to another home ,could not walk still in pads very thin and with bed sores.

    The first home was newly built and was nicely furnished but the care was not there.:eek:
  18. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Les
    Well done in getting some action and so glad your father is out of there.

    If the new care home is responsible, they will not see you as, a troublemaker but as a godsend or a campaigner for proper care for the elderly.

    Hope your Dad feels more secure and relaxed in his new home and hope your Mum is happier also,

  19. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    Hello Lesley,

    You can be very proud of yourself with all your taken on. I hope that you get the results you seek. You can rest knowing your dad is away from that misery and also that because of your courage other residents left behind will benefit.

    It's people like you that make the changes that these care homes need, none of us must turn our backs on things that matter. I am still at a loss as to how other staff members could just turn a blind eye.

    Best Wishes to you and your family, I hope that your dad recovers well from this trauma. Regards Taffy.
  20. ~kat~

    ~kat~ Registered User

    Nov 23, 2007
    West Yorkshire
    CSCI NEED to know about this.
    This is simply abuse.
    Don't stand for any excuses!


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