Registered User
Apr 13, 2007
I think that my mother is being harassed by another resident at her care home. I may be reading too much into this but when I visited her yesterday a resident came over to her and kissed her. I've seen the resident do this before but not to this extent. It made me feel quite sick.

My mother is in the last stages of AD and is in a home with 'dementia' and 'older persons' registration. She does not have the mental capacity to tell this person to go away and is too disabled to pull away.

My mother seems not to be bothered by what this resident did but I am. If my mother was lucid she would be so upset.

I don't know what to do about this?


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Louise,
I think that if you are feeling concerned you should try and talk to the manager/manageress about your worries. If the attentions are inappropriate, then they cannot simply be ignored - you are there to preserve your mum's dignity. I would start with the gentle, concerned daughter approach, and see what response you get.
Do let us know how you get on if you speak to the Home.
Love Helen


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Louise

I agree with Helen. If anything makes you uncomfortable, you should talk to the manager about it. It's a tricky situation, these sort of advances are quite common, but it's not something your mum should have to put up with. It's the home's reponsibility to handle it, and they should have strategies in place.



Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Hi LouiseD,Although there may be no harm intened by the resident you must report your concerns.I have encountered this in the home i work in.the resident was behaving inappropriatley with both staff and residents.All put down to a UTI!I do not want to class all sufferers of a mental disorder the same,but in my experience and of the reading up on mental health issues it appears that some suffers "loose their inhibitions",wherby what you witnessed may be the case.Anyway we won't read too much into it at this time.Please take the advice given and voice your concerns.it may be a storm in a teacup.love elainex


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Louise

If you think that the attention given to your mum is not appropriate, then I would, as others have suggested, talk to management about it, and nicely but firmly say you dont want it to happen again.

Sadly as your mum is not now in a position to speak up for herself, it falls on you to do it for her.

I wouldnt like it if it was happening to my mum either.

Best wishes