Hard to help

[Chook]

Mum lives alone and I'm far away. I've arranged for a carer\friend to visit mum a couple of times a week but she keeps going out. It's so frustrating but I don't know what else to do.

Today I phoned to tell her my friend was going to visit in about 10 minutes and she went out. I don't think she would have done this on purpose because she enjoys her visits. Has anyone got any tips? I just don't know what to do, she's not eating properly and could really do with someone just helping her cook a good meal once a day.

Chook
x

 

[chris53]

Chock, have you had an assessment done by Social Services yet? can understand the kindness of mums friend coming to visit, but although it looks like although mum enjoys this, she will also want to fight this, as can be sometimes the nature of this illness could this friend come round in the evening, if she has a set of keys this would help, until maybe carers or meals on wheels can assist? please keep us posted and hope help is available soon
Take care
Chris x

 

[Chook]

Thanks for your reply.

We've had social services around but they will only offer meals on wheels. My family and the cpn said this would take away mum's independence. The only thing she has to think about is getting herself some food.

Social services refused to get mum any carers in. It's so hard because mum seems fine to the outside world.

Hmmmm.

With regards to the friend going around in the evening. Mum likes to eat her main meal midday because she gets an upset stomach otherwise.

 

[chris53]

Chook, how frustrating for you.....think social services need to get the whole picture, as even a little bit of help to start with will get mum used to having outside help, and this can be built up bit by bit,please keep a day to day diary on what is going on and insist that you have full assessment meeting with her GP, CPN and social services in attendance, have had to do this for my mum in law as help was not forthcoming, it took a long time letting them know that she is at risk as a "vulnerable adult"and that you "can't cope" may rattle their cage, seeing mums GP to inform on how things are should push a few buttons,especially mums reluctance in having outside help, do take care- Chris x