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Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Margarita, May 5, 2007.
Wouldn`t that be wonderful. We can but dream
(1)Now since I have been caring for my mother she was in those last dropping into those last stages, of not knowing who I was but what have been worse then seeing your mother mistake the bath for the toilet, not knowing her surrounding so wondering in the street and getting lost.
All logic and reasoning gone, not talking and spiting at anyone that look at us.
Going though that stage is the hardest stage for a me , and then knowing your mother does not recognize you is another hard stage.
Its all inevitable we the carer can’t stop it from happing, we can’t control it , nature won’t let us .
So when I read that if my mother if she comes of medication for last stages she drop, what back in to that stage? it brought up in me the most unbelievable feeling of fear , Freddie cruga that film was nothing to compared to what I was feeling just thinking of my mother dropping back in to those days .
But it’s not true, all I needed was support or I would of put my mother in a home, but fate ,nature , took a twist in what country my mother was diagnosed with AZ , and my mother was given medication for last stages of AZ.
That took away all those systems, all it did was control the disease, slowing given her back what I read is her dignity.
It did not make my life better, because I am not slowing going in to the or bliss of the unknown into myself, like my mother is.
All my mother would be saying to me if she went into a care home is, why are there people not letting me eat my English breakfast? Why can’t I eat as many sweet chocolates? As I like. Because now my mum has forgot she has diabetic. She gets all upset, oh and now I am in hear I can’t see that man (helper ) at day centre , who she has a crash on, because all this falling in love with him . I have now work out , it take her mind of thinking how sad it all is how my father died , the circumstances that lead up to his death, she still blames herself , as her logic going again
I can say that if I new what I new now I would of not given my mother last stages medication for AZ and mum would have been in a care home , because the support not out they for a single with children to care for a mother with AZ. ( if you are one and caring at home please share your coping skills )
If my father was alive I know he would of wanted my mother to have had that medication , because would of wanted more time with her, my father never new his level of stress limitation , in how caring for can kill you if you do not look after your own heath , and nor did I till it killed him . So I learn from my father mistake and learn to recognize my limitation, good sorry I have gone on .
I only wanted to say , is that don’t think of it how they drop when in a care home , because they may not , and if they do your have all the support your need 24/7 from the staff to help you go though that journey with them , rather then going alone at home . talking from a person that is single only family left is teenagers
Yes now nell that sounds wicket , but seem the boat/ Cruise ship is called TP
so your all my ship mates
I WISH............. I REALLY Do.
Another day of tomorrow Tuesday and daycentre , yes big mistake I am good at that making mistake lately .
I told mum they are is no daycentre as they is no staff tomorrow and she come up with that its because they don’t like her, said yes because you keep weting your self and won’t wear a pad . its an issue we are having at the moment she look at me a laugh she new I was laying ( but she did wet her knickers at daycentre ) they where lovely about it , handle it so good
So that was it I told her they rang and told me they are cutting her Tuesday out all together, because lack of staff because they are putting 2 AZ day centre together and to blame the government.
That seem to have May her feel better, am getting ready for it, yes she worrying I can see it. She going to ask again. do I think they will pick her up 2morow ?
I have to laugh at it all , they I was a year ago forcing mum to go to daycentre , feeling so guilty about wanting some time out from mum and hear we are now mum getting upset , because she going to be bored in not going , she love it now , give credit where credit due, she may have lost the short team memory , but she still go insight in how not going to daycentre she going to get bored .
Shame that she so scared to go out in wheelchair , as I could take her out , but my mother always been a suborn (sp) woman with so many challenging behaviour 's