Happy New Year Everyone

sky90

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
44
Eastsussex
Hello everyone I'm just writing to get some advice on Sundowning. My mum gets it most day's around 4pm. She get's really sad and upset. Some times if you talk to her she can get very distant. If I ask " what's wrong mum?" she will say she dont know.
Does anyone have any advice on Sundowning?
I dont like seeing my mum sad and not know how to make her smile.

Thank you so much for reading this xx



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MollyD

Registered User
Mar 27, 2016
1,696
Ireland
Hi sky, Happy New Year to you too.

It's difficult, isn't it. If I had the answer I'd be so happy to share it but I don't.

Obvious things to help minimize symptoms are hydration, rest, comfort, nutrition etc. Ruling out infections and so on.

Still, all these things aside, it just seems to be a major problem for many, many PWD and subsequently their carers.

And you can run yourself ragged trying to ease it, a bit like chasing some God awful will-o'-the-wisp.

One's own anxiety rises too.

It would certainly help if you felt rested at these times too because then you can be more detatched and not feel it yourself so much. This is coming from someone who, 9 times out of 10, can't follow her own advice!

One thing that *can* really help in my own situation is hand holding and stroking and gently rubbing mum's chest. Distraction, deflection, listening all help in more hit or miss ways (listening, soothing listening being the most effective, but that is nigh on impossible for hours and hours of sundowning symptoms, for me anyway).

Hope I haven't been too down about it, I know how difficult it is, how sad it is to see our mum's in distress. It does pass somewhat and maybe having less expectations on yourself to make her smile might give you some ease to cope better with it too?

Again, I'm not great at following my own advice....

X

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