Hankies out.....

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
......My sister just sent this to me on Facebook. as posted on www.viralnova.com some of you may have seen it before......
An Alzheimer’s Patient’s Request – This Will Make You Cry


This touching poem was placed outside of the room of an Alzheimer’s patient in a rehabilitation hospital; when you read it, you may need to grab a tissue. This moving message about Alzheimer’s is so sad, but also so true. Many people are affected by Alzheimer’s Disease. Whether they have the disease themselves or have a loved one who does, you need to read this poem so you know exactly what they are going through.
Alzheimers Request:

Do not ask me to remember
Don't try to make me understand
Let me rest and know you're with me
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept
I'm sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost

Do not lose your patience with me
Do not scold or curse or cry
I can't help the way I'm acting
I can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you
That the best of me is gone
Please don't fail to stand beside me
Love me till my life is gone.

Ok..sniff, blow and wipe. :)

To me, the most telling lines are
I'm confused beyond your concept
and
I can't be different though I try.

I'll try to remember them, Mum.x.
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
0
74
Durham
Aw Maureen, thank you, that's so lovely and sad ,
lump in my throat tears in my eyes,


Jeany x
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,541
0
It is a nice poem, but the line "To be with me at all cost" irks me somehow....

They ran out of words that rhyme with lost, should have gone to rhymezone.

Other than that bit it is a lovely poem and asks us as carers to look at it from the dementia sufferers perspective.
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,541
0
Just in case anyone hasn't seen this one it's worth a read too.



"Crabbit Old Woman"

What do you see, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me-
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice,
I do wish you'd try.
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is loosing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding the long day is fill.
Is that what you're thinking,
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes,
nurse, you're looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another-
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet,
A bride soon at 20- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home;
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel-
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart,
But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few- gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last-
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see,
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer-
See Me.

By: Phyilis McCormack

A Nurse's reply

"To the 'Crabbit Old Woman"

What do we see, you ask, what do we see?
Yes, we are thinking when looking at thee!
We may seem to be hard when we hurry and fuss,
But there's many of you, and too few of us.
We would like far more time to sit by you and talk,
To bath you and feed you and help you to walk.
To hear of your lives and the things you have done;
Your childhood, your husband, your daughter, your son.
But time is against us, there's too much to do -
Patients too many, and nurses too few.
We grieve when we see you so sad and alone,
With nobody near you, no friends of your own.
We feel all your pain, and know of your fear
That nobody cares now your end is so near.
But nurses are people with feelings as well,
And when we're together you'll often hear tell
Of the dearest old Gran in the very end bed,
And the lovely old Dad, and the things that he said,
We speak with compassion and love, and feel sad
When we think of your lives and the joy that you've had,
When the time has arrived for you to depart,
You leave us behind with an ache in our heart.
When you sleep the long sleep, no more worry or care,
There are other old people, and we must be there.
So please understand if we hurry and fuss -
There are many of you, And so few of us.

Sobs.................. Anyone got a sleeve I can borrow ? ;)
 

Miss Merlot

Registered User
Oct 15, 2012
3,261
0
I'm confused beyond your concept
I'm sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you

1. My freezer to defrost?
2. Through this mental holocaust?
3. Though we find ourselves star-crossed?
 

garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
0
I'm confused beyond your concept
I'm sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you

1. My freezer to defrost?
2. Through this mental holocaust?
3. Though we find ourselves star-crossed?

'I'll pay you, what's love's cost?'
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,352
0
Herts
I found it a really apt and beautiful poem and have no problem with " to be with you at all cost". Is this not the same as I promised to my husband with dementia when I said " for richer and for poorer and in sickness and in health" ? I realise this may not be the same for someone looking after a parent but for those of us caring for a spouse it is not inappropriate. I would say, should I end up with dementia, I have told my daughters to put themselves first.
Tre
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,352
0
Herts
Oh Jeany me too me too. I feel I am quite close to carer breakdown at the moment but even should I prove to weak and he has to go into residential care my number one priority will be to give him the best quality of life I can at all costs.
Tre
 

jeany123

Registered User
Mar 24, 2012
19,034
0
74
Durham
Oh Jeany me too me too. I feel I am quite close to carer breakdown at the moment but even should I prove to weak and he has to go into residential care my number one priority will be to give him the best quality of life I can at all costs.
Tre

Oh Tre it's awful isn't it, you made me cry, i want him at home as long as I can, but I know the time might come , I can't bear the thought but I will do my best for him whatever,
 

amandajane

Registered User
Aug 3, 2013
6
0
norwich
....

Alzheimers Request:

Do not ask me to remember
Don't try to make me understand
Let me rest and know you're with me
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept
I'm sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost

Do not lose your patience with me
Do not scold or curse or cry
I can't help the way I'm acting
I can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you
That the best of me is gone
Please don't fail to stand beside me
Love me till my life is gone.
 

Miss Merlot

Registered User
Oct 15, 2012
3,261
0
It's the implied demand in the line that I don't like - no one has the right to ask that of another person, I don't think.

Maybe I am reading to much into it though! :D

As far as my husband is concerned I will be with him at all costs.
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,541
0
It's the implied demand in the line that I don't like - no one has the right to ask that of another person, I don't think.

Maybe I am reading to much into it though! :D

Doh at me, for me it was using cost instead of costs just to make it rhyme.

Yes I see what you are saying, especially for those of us who have the angry dementia sufferer, those who will hit, punch, scream and abuse. Not their fault but you can't hold their hand through that.

It's a sentimental poem though and I am happy to take it as that and see that the poet is telling us the person behind the dementia is just scared and how much they need us. I do think it's a lovely poem that has helped me to stop and put myself inmy mum's shoes for a while which is always a good thing.
 

Moonflower

Registered User
Mar 28, 2012
773
0
I think it does illustrate the difference between caring for a parent or in law and a partner

My mother would want me to stay with her at all cost, but the priced to me, my husband and children is just too high. I think I would feel different if it were hubby

I know it's just a sentimental poem, but the line jarred with me
 

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