Handling change

[hvml]

Hi all

I have been looking after my Dad for nearly 4 years - ever since he had a stroke in 2012. I'd say that most days, he is at a moderate stage in his dementia, but some days are notably worse.

Whilst I have been looking after Dad, my brother has been living at home with us ( and his partner ) and going to work full time. It was decided some time ago that he would take over the caring role, allowing me to return to my home with OH ( who I have been visiting once a month ) and go back to work.

I'm very excited to be getting back to my familiar life, a new job ( fingers crossed ) and old friends, but I really don't know how to approach the change with regards to leaving Dad. Is it best to tell him in advance - leave it to the last minute - not tell him and say I'm going on holiday........I just don't know.

When I go away for the weekend, he is fine with my brother and his partner and soon settles into their pattern.

What do people think?

Heidi

 

[canary]

I would treat it as if you were going away for the week-end. And then you dont come back......

 

[fizzie]

I agree with Canary I think to try to do anything else would stress your Dad xx

 

[hvml]

Thanks canary and fizzie.

I think you are right. I don't want to stress Dad out and he is used to me going away for the weekend, so I will do it like that. I will be coming back regularly to give my brother respite, so it should work out fine.

Xx

 

[Beate]

I wouldn't make a big thing out of it at all. Don't mention more than you have to, see whether he notices the difference. He'll be much calmer that way.

 

[hvml]

True. The main thing is to avoid stress for Dad. He often gets confused and thinks I am just visiting anyway as I have lived away since teenage and I am 47 now!!

Xx