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Handling change

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
Hi all

I have been looking after my Dad for nearly 4 years - ever since he had a stroke in 2012. I'd say that most days, he is at a moderate stage in his dementia, but some days are notably worse.

Whilst I have been looking after Dad, my brother has been living at home with us ( and his partner ) and going to work full time. It was decided some time ago that he would take over the caring role, allowing me to return to my home with OH ( who I have been visiting once a month ) and go back to work.

I'm very excited to be getting back to my familiar life, a new job ( fingers crossed ) and old friends, but I really don't know how to approach the change with regards to leaving Dad. Is it best to tell him in advance - leave it to the last minute - not tell him and say I'm going on holiday........I just don't know.

When I go away for the weekend, he is fine with my brother and his partner and soon settles into their pattern.

What do people think?

Heidi
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
I agree with Canary I think to try to do anything else would stress your Dad xx
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
Thanks canary and fizzie.

I think you are right. I don't want to stress Dad out and he is used to me going away for the weekend, so I will do it like that. I will be coming back regularly to give my brother respite, so it should work out fine.

Xx
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,950
London
I wouldn't make a big thing out of it at all. Don't mention more than you have to, see whether he notices the difference. He'll be much calmer that way.
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
True. The main thing is to avoid stress for Dad. He often gets confused and thinks I am just visiting anyway as I have lived away since teenage and I am 47 now!!

Xx