1. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Hi all

    I have been looking after my Dad for nearly 4 years - ever since he had a stroke in 2012. I'd say that most days, he is at a moderate stage in his dementia, but some days are notably worse.

    Whilst I have been looking after Dad, my brother has been living at home with us ( and his partner ) and going to work full time. It was decided some time ago that he would take over the caring role, allowing me to return to my home with OH ( who I have been visiting once a month ) and go back to work.

    I'm very excited to be getting back to my familiar life, a new job ( fingers crossed ) and old friends, but I really don't know how to approach the change with regards to leaving Dad. Is it best to tell him in advance - leave it to the last minute - not tell him and say I'm going on holiday........I just don't know.

    When I go away for the weekend, he is fine with my brother and his partner and soon settles into their pattern.

    What do people think?

    Heidi
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,331
    Female
    South coast
    I would treat it as if you were going away for the week-end. And then you dont come back......
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I agree with Canary I think to try to do anything else would stress your Dad xx
     
  4. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Thanks canary and fizzie.

    I think you are right. I don't want to stress Dad out and he is used to me going away for the weekend, so I will do it like that. I will be coming back regularly to give my brother respite, so it should work out fine.

    Xx
     
  5. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,489
    Female
    London
    I wouldn't make a big thing out of it at all. Don't mention more than you have to, see whether he notices the difference. He'll be much calmer that way.
     
  6. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    True. The main thing is to avoid stress for Dad. He often gets confused and thinks I am just visiting anyway as I have lived away since teenage and I am 47 now!!

    Xx
     

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