1. Vicksterand

    Vicksterand Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    Just interested if anyone else has had this. My mother is convinced that she can see planes with men disembarking with parachutes. She spends hours watching them out of her study window. She got very annoyed with me that I could not see them. I took her into her sitting room and moments later found her smiling weirdly out of the French windows where apparently a little girl had been standing crying but stopped when she had smiled at her. I looked and there was no one there. I find it difficult to deal with as obviously she totally believes what she has seen.
  2. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    My mum is convinced that she can see people looking out of a window in the house next door, what she can actually see is the reflection in the window of some trees in our garden. Nothing anyone says will change her mind, she even pulled the blind down so that they could not watch her.
  3. Vicksterand

    Vicksterand Registered User

    Jan 31, 2015
    I wondered if it was the dust motes it was a sunny day but that did not explain the little girl she thought she saw. I am glad I am not alone! Thank you for your response! It is so difficult when they will not be convinced. I find it really hard. But to be honest she is doing no harm in what she is seeing so I should just agree with her. I do find that hard as I feel I am lying to myself and her. Sorry really difficult to explain my feelings on this!
  4. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    Hi Vicksterand, and welcome to TP. There are lots of great people here with a wealth of experience and advice and insight. I'm not an expert, but from what I understand, hallucinations are common with several types of dementia. If you do a search on here you will probably find other accounts, just so you know you're not alone.

    As far as not being able to convince your mother that what she's seeing isn't there, well, that's a hard one. You are the only one who can make the best decision for you, her, and your situation, so you have to do what you feel is right.

    You are also not the only person to have mixed feelings about and/or struggle with lying to a loved one with dementia. If you do a search on "love lies" and also "compassionate communication" you will find more information (and perhaps a nice person here will post some links, please? I know there are some resources on this). Some people always tell the truth, some people don't, some people use a variety of responses and you may have to experiment to see what will work best for you.

    You are definitely not alone!
  5. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Mum used to see a little girl too, could describe her in minute detail, right down to the green hair ribbons. I used to play along ''have you offered her a drink and a biscuit?'' . I didn't like it, but whilst the hallucinations are not distressing ( for mum anyway) I'd just go along with it.

    Boat loads of Lesbians that used to moor up in the middle of the hospital ward ( 3 floors up!) was harder to go along with, but as they used to come for a party everynight, we just discussed what food they had and what music.

    It was like a parallell world sometime , but would have spent more time trying to make her understand that she was 'seeing things' than to go along with it.

    It was very often indicative of a UTI.
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    That little girl gets around.:confused: My OH was sectioned and there was a jubilee celebration in the ward; a little girl visited and Pete took about two hours to describe what she looked like/said/did/wore;) No children were allowed on the ward! I just agreed and joined Pete in his world. Didn't know what else to do:(

    It's very hard to deal with, but in my opinion it's the 'bad' hallucinations that are the real worry-sometimes meds can help.
  7. jen54

    jen54 Registered User

    May 20, 2014
    mum told me a little girl ran off with her mule last time I was there - she "had run through the house and taken the other mule)- she could only find one-she had thrown the other away as it broke, but couldn't recall that she saved the one that was ok as a spare-(I got rid since so she has forgotten she even had them)
    I just changed the subject, I didn't know whether to tell her what had happened in reality..or to agree, so did neither :S not sure if she dreams things, or if her mind is making up stories to fill in her loss of recalling anything
  8. SugarRay

    SugarRay Registered User

    May 5, 2014
    Sunny South East
    Mum sees small furries, children and my daughter.
    Small furries and dogs/cats is ok, children - well that was Mum's career so ok, My daughter (even when she's at work) also ok, as they don't scare her - offering the pot plant a cup of tea.. well....! If they worried her or really frightened her then I may look further into it, but she's happy. I did ask her if the pot plant spoke back to which I had the reply "of course not, I'm not that stupid"!:D
    Ho hum! SR.
  9. Dayperson

    Dayperson Registered User

    Feb 18, 2015
    Mum thinks they are building a ski lift in the land opposite us despite us being no where near anywhere which gets snow (maybe a dozen days a year at most), that she bought her handbag / watch when she was working or that it was her mums (I was with her when she brought it so I know it is less than 10 years since). The other one is that she has been everywhere and knows everyone (she's been to Monaco F1 and she knows complete strangers in shops).

    I used to fight the lies she was saying but now I have selective hearing and let it go over me, and not upset me.
  10. Notenoughsleep

    Notenoughsleep Registered User

    May 25, 2015
    For weeks, my mam was convinced my friends or various people were staying in the house and would ring me to come and sort it out as she wanted to lock up and go to bed. I'd give her some excuse that they would go when they were ready which would calm her. The next day she would ask who those people were and i'd usually go along with it and then distract. Then on Saturday, I got a frantic call and she insisted I go down and get rid of them. When I got there I tried a different approach and told her firmly and calmly, I couldn't see what she was seeing and she needed to show me what she could see. We went into every room and obviously there was nobody there. I then explained it was all part of her illness and we would be visiting the memory doctor soon who would give her medication to sort her out. Since then, she's been amazing! Still has confusion but not so stressed and I think it's because I explained things to her. On Sunday, she said "i've had a visitor again ... I think". I said "no you havent" and she seemed relieved. I wish i'd been honest with her from the start, personally, but I expect there'll be another stage where she'll forget this one and i'll have to resort to love lies again! So i think It all depends what stage they're at. Go with what you feel is right xx
  11. Camella

    Camella Registered User

    Jun 1, 2015
    La Paz, Bolivia
    My mom would see and hear things that were not seen by others often, she would have conversations with people who were not there.
    I would try not to "reality check" her as this would probably make her agitated and feel embarrassed.
    We were living with my boyfriend at the time, and this was recently after she was diagnosed with FTD. The doctors recommended haloperidol to help, but I was sceptical because, I don't know, have heard those types of meds can be quite harmful.
    It wasnt until these hallucinations began to become scary for her and cause a lot of anxiety.
    One night she came running out of her room, nearly to tears, claiming there was a man in her room who refused to leave. My boyfriend went in the room and searched everywhere sort of acting like he was going to get rid of such man, even though he knew there was no one. This helped my mom calm down but we decided to medicate her soon after.
    Now she sometimes but not frequently talks on her own, towards a corner of the room or such but I figure at this stage, if meds or anything can help keep her calm then welcome.
    I would recommend to try to not take it to seriously unless it is causing her harm like anxiety or confusion to a point where she might get hurt, example wanting to leave the house with "someone" or attempting to go somewhere or grab something that is not there.
    Sadly dementia is a complicated diagnosis and it comes with a package of symptoms that can be difficult to deal with.
    Best of luck, surely you will find a way to get around these things and overcome them with time.
  12. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    Could she possibly have been thinking people on the TV were real? I never had this as such, but it's quite common for people to think people on TV are there in the room, and equally to be very frightened by any TV violence or shooting, thinking that is also in the room.
    On a similar tack my mother enjoyed wildlife documentaries, but afterwards she would anxiously need to check upstairs for orang outans or polar bears rampaging about...
  13. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    As LYN T says - that little girl gets around! 9 times out of 10, when Mil has a hospital appointment, and she is waiting to be seen, that darn little girl is upsetting her by 'running away' out a door or up a corridor. At home she will ask - most days/evenings - where the little girl, or the little lad or the babby/baby are. I used to be fond of children, but hate this particular bunch with a passion now, as invariably, Mil gets upset by them - or rather, upset because they have suddenly dissappeared.

    A lot of the time, I think its delusions rather than hallucinations with Mil, but there have been odd occasions where she clearly thinks she is seeing 'something' -often when she has some sort of infection. She has spent the best part of a day, cowering behind the curtains because of the 'dragons' who were outside, waiting to burn her up, during one particularly nasty UTI :( There have been several occasions too, when she has stood at the patio doors and told me she is either watching 'that awful fog' or watching that 'big fire'.

    All I can do is try to distract and try to reassure - neither approach works all the time, but I hoestly don't know what else I can do :(
  14. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    What is it with the 'little girl' thing. In Pete's case I couldn't even link it to him having children -as he didn't. Hallucinations are so difficult to deal with. I agree with Witzend about the TV-I gave up in the end and never turned it on:eek:

    Take care everyone

    Lyn T XX
  15. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    I've wondered if the little girl, or just children in general, are some sort of manifestion of how vulnerable she feels herself? Or - in Mils case - if she is remembering her grandaughters, when they were young? So hard to work out!

    I agree with being careful about the TV too - we are restricting more and more of Mils viewing these days. Some times its harmless and almost funny - like the other night when she wanted to phone a woman called 'Stacy', who's husband was called 'Gavin' (guess what was on the box at the time?) but other times it can produce really distressing events for her. She loves the American crime/police series - but I've had to put a stop to them as increasingly I find she is sure that the FBI have been calling, or that there is a 'burned up body' upstairs :(
  16. Isabella41

    Isabella41 Registered User

    Feb 20, 2012
    Northern Ireland
    When I visit mum in her care home I make a conscious decision that I am entering another world where the residents reality is different to mine. I go along with whatever the particular conversation happens to be. Sometimes I'm asked why I don't have the child with me. I don't have a small children so perhaps this child that you all refer to visits here to and tags along with me unbeknown to me. Mum is of course convinced all her fellow residents are bonkers - her word not mine- and that she is the only sensible one there. I think the best avenue to take is to just go with the flow and agree with whatever your loved one is saying at the time. Don't contradict or correct but take the path of least resistance.
  17. Notenoughsleep

    Notenoughsleep Registered User

    May 25, 2015
    My daughter and I think that in our case, the little girl is our bags! My daughter has a large school bag and mine is a similar size. We make sure when we visit now that we leave our bags in the hallway, out of sight.
    Daughter was most disappointed last week though, when mam didn't like to give her her pocket money while "her friend, the little girl" was there!

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