My mother, who has dementia, suffers very badly with hallucinations. She sees strange people in her house and tells us of very bizarre scenes. It is obviously very distressing for her and equally frustrating for my father and for the family. I sometimes feel like screaming “there’s nothing there mum” but when she tells us about these ‘people’ and objects she sees, there is no reasoning with her. I feel very guilty for feeling angry towards her. Has any one else had any experience with hallucinations?
Hallucinations
- Thread starter Ann Owen
- Start date
Dear Ann
My husband has had hallucinations for about 7 years now He only finds them scary if I try to tell him there is nothing there, then he gets aggressive. If I go with the flow he finds them funny or even comforting, I never have found out what he sees he just tells me “don’t say that you can’t see that big one there”
Anne
My husband has had hallucinations for about 7 years now He only finds them scary if I try to tell him there is nothing there, then he gets aggressive. If I go with the flow he finds them funny or even comforting, I never have found out what he sees he just tells me “don’t say that you can’t see that big one there”
Anne
Hello Ann
I can't give you any professional advice, but just wanted to share my own experience in case it helps -
My Mum has suffered hallucinations for several years now, which is as you say very distressing especially for her. Sadly (devastatingly, actually) we can no longer make sense of what she is saying, but I know she still has them from her body language and facial expressions. When they are upsetting or frightewning ones, I just cuddle her and try to reassure her that she is safe. Sometimes they are nice ones however - she sometimes talks and smiles into empty space and I can see she is happy. At the beginning the psycho-geriatrician recommended a drug to help (sorry, I can't remember which) but Dad resisted and it never happened.
Take care
I can't give you any professional advice, but just wanted to share my own experience in case it helps -
My Mum has suffered hallucinations for several years now, which is as you say very distressing especially for her. Sadly (devastatingly, actually) we can no longer make sense of what she is saying, but I know she still has them from her body language and facial expressions. When they are upsetting or frightewning ones, I just cuddle her and try to reassure her that she is safe. Sometimes they are nice ones however - she sometimes talks and smiles into empty space and I can see she is happy. At the beginning the psycho-geriatrician recommended a drug to help (sorry, I can't remember which) but Dad resisted and it never happened.
Take care
Hi, Lionel sometimes 'sees' things that are not there. He was crying last week, asking "will someone please take this baby, I can't cope". I just said, on this occasion "give baby to me" and this seemed to calm him. Sometimes it is cats, and then I say"shall I shoo the cat outside for you".. I never raise the issue that it is in the mind, seems easier to go with the flow. Hope this helps, Connie
Hi Ann
I agree with Connie. My Grandma hallucinates frequently, and I find it distresses her less to go along with what she believes she can see and hear, then to tell her it is not there. My Grandma frequently converses with the Queen, and on one occasion made me stand when the Queen entered the room.
Although such behaviour is absurd and often distressing for the carers/relatives, there is so little I can do now to make her happy, that if going along with Grandma's hallucincations makes her happy, then so be it. Take care. Misty
I agree with Connie. My Grandma hallucinates frequently, and I find it distresses her less to go along with what she believes she can see and hear, then to tell her it is not there. My Grandma frequently converses with the Queen, and on one occasion made me stand when the Queen entered the room.
Although such behaviour is absurd and often distressing for the carers/relatives, there is so little I can do now to make her happy, that if going along with Grandma's hallucincations makes her happy, then so be it. Take care. Misty
I agree with all the comments regarding going along with it. My Dad has only had a couple of episodes of hallucinations while in hospital when he said he could see "lots of them" out of the window. When Mum said she couldn't see anything he reacted angrily.
Another time, we just agreed that we'd seen 'them' too and Dad became calm almost immediately. It doesn't take away the problem but it does ease the situation.
Another time, we just agreed that we'd seen 'them' too and Dad became calm almost immediately. It doesn't take away the problem but it does ease the situation.
My husband used to see and talk to dogs in our house. He was very fond of all dogs, so it seemed to be a pleasant thing for him and I never attempted to tell him that they weren't there as they brought him some enjoyment.
Only last week when I visited him in hospital he was unable to say more than a word or two to me, but then uttered a whole "sentence" (which I wasn't able to make any sense of) to a toy dog in his room!
Only last week when I visited him in hospital he was unable to say more than a word or two to me, but then uttered a whole "sentence" (which I wasn't able to make any sense of) to a toy dog in his room!
Monique seems to have hallucinations as well - actually that's not quite right - more dreams that get muddled up with reality - yesterday she told me how nice it was to see my father on television. Sometimes she awakes and talks about things long gone or never existed.
I have sort of decided just to go along with it - if its something nasty I agree but say it has gone away now so that's good. If its nice then I just agree. Not certain bringing my concept of reality is beneficial. If I muddle her more by saying she is imagining things then it make things worse so ... that's what I do ..
Must be so difficult not knowing reality from .... like an everlasting dream- are you dreaming or are you awake or are you dreaming your awake or ...
I quite like the line 'being paranoid doesn't mean they are not trying to get you..'
I have sort of decided just to go along with it - if its something nasty I agree but say it has gone away now so that's good. If its nice then I just agree. Not certain bringing my concept of reality is beneficial. If I muddle her more by saying she is imagining things then it make things worse so ... that's what I do ..
Must be so difficult not knowing reality from .... like an everlasting dream- are you dreaming or are you awake or are you dreaming your awake or ...
I quite like the line 'being paranoid doesn't mean they are not trying to get you..'
Micheal e
my wife sometimes,not often,asks "someone"are you asleep?Looking at an empty chair.
She also sometimes sees a cat with staring eyes.
I do believe that some times they get reality mixed with dreams, and the dreams continue into their waking hours.
Best Wishes
Norman
my wife sometimes,not often,asks "someone"are you asleep?Looking at an empty chair.
She also sometimes sees a cat with staring eyes.
I do believe that some times they get reality mixed with dreams, and the dreams continue into their waking hours.
Best Wishes
Norman
Hi, especially Norman. Never really thought of these episodes as 'waking' dreams, but guess that would explain a lot. It is only when these subject come up on T.P. that you really think about them. Connie
Today is a good day - Monique is off down to Monoprix to get coffee filters - and she knew the size 104 which I didn't.
So strange - She also works hard at knowing what the date and day is - marks it off in her diary and on a special calender - But will ask me 3 or 4 times a day to confirm the date or day - must be really difficult to sort out things.
Actually wants to 'wind me up' sometimes - but that is strangely charming - She was always against (to use a French expression) against people 'who try to fart higher than their ****' so she still keeps me in my place.
I try encourage her to do things alone - Monoprix is only 50 metres away and she can find her way there and back with no problem - I suspect she just hands the cashiers the note(s) I have given her but so far she seems to come back with the right change...
So strange - She also works hard at knowing what the date and day is - marks it off in her diary and on a special calender - But will ask me 3 or 4 times a day to confirm the date or day - must be really difficult to sort out things.
Actually wants to 'wind me up' sometimes - but that is strangely charming - She was always against (to use a French expression) against people 'who try to fart higher than their ****' so she still keeps me in my place.
I try encourage her to do things alone - Monoprix is only 50 metres away and she can find her way there and back with no problem - I suspect she just hands the cashiers the note(s) I have given her but so far she seems to come back with the right change...
