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had enough

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
some will have of my notorious sciatica and the pain ive been in. the amount of nights i havent slept in the last five weeks. well i collapsed and couldnt stop crying , rocking wasnt talking too much sense because of the pain and tiredness. my daughter had to come down to calm me down and help her dad. phoned the doctor who was the most unhelpful and has told me its my low mood that is making the pain worse and not the other way around trying to care for my husband as well as coming up to these brick walls i cant cope anymore. im in tears again this is not the life i want to share with my husband no quality of life dont want to go on like this whats the point of living if you are only going to exist by having pain no one will take me seriously . i seriously think life is not viable at the moment and nobody is taking any notice
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,650
South East
Im sorry you are struggling so much , I find it unbelievable that some dr’s can be so uncaring , hope it starts to ease soon 🤞 Could your daughter come a little more regularly just until you start to feel a little better ? Even if you could try and just lie down and relax while she is there , lack of sleep was used as a form of torture , it has such a huge bearing on so many other areas . Could you get carer’s in to help ? Sorry if these are not viable /doable , just sad to hear you are struggling . Sending gentle hugs🤗
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
thgankyou she works in a pharmacy til late and has 2 young children 3 6 so hard for her. my son has a drink problem and had already had a beer beforeimy husband phoned for help. when i said my life is not viable i meant that i didnt want to live anymore and im fighting it but i dont really see a reason to live anymore
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
some will have of my notorious sciatica and the pain ive been in. the amount of nights i havent slept in the last five weeks. well i collapsed and couldnt stop crying , rocking wasnt talking too much sense because of the pain and tiredness. my daughter had to come down to calm me down and help her dad. phoned the doctor who was the most unhelpful and has told me its my low mood that is making the pain worse and not the other way around trying to care for my husband as well as coming up to these brick walls i cant cope anymore. im in tears again this is not the life i want to share with my husband no quality of life dont want to go on like this whats the point of living if you are only going to exist by having pain no one will take me seriously . i seriously think life is not viable at the moment and nobody is taking any notice
Aw I'm so sorry.
Are you able to speak to another gp. I had a lovely gp who realised I was very low due to caring and she pressurised me to seek help. She was lovely. And very caring. I got in touch with talking therapy and hopefully on the mend as my health took a very bad turn. Please look after yourself xx god bless x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,650
South East
I knew what you meant , have a close family member who has felt that way frequently , I’m sorry your daughter can’t help more , do you have any friends you can call on ? There are websites and app’s you can talk online to, have you rang Admiral Nurse before ? I have found them hugely supportive and helpful . Samaritans always good too . Please don’t struggle alone . The lack of sleep is seriously concerning . Have you a different Gp you could speak to ? Hang in there . X
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
Aw I'm so sorry.
Are you able to speak to another gp. I had a lovely gp who realised I was very low due to caring and she pressurised me to seek help. She was lovely. And very caring. I got in touch with talking therapy and hopefully on the mend as my health took a very bad turn. Please look after yourself xx god bless x
did speak to 2 gps who both thought my low mood was making pain worse when its in fact the pain thats dipping my mood my gp is coming back next week who is very lovely but until then ive still going through it
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,650
South East
Did you know you can self refer for talking therapy ? I think the Gp is a little correct in that your low mood won’t be helping the pain but they need to address that .
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,390
South coast
Ive been there @jennifer1967 . You have reached burnout.

Please contact SS and tell them that you seriously cannot go on and need emergency respite. Does the GP understand exactly what you are saying - that you are feeling suicidal?

Personally, Ive never found the Samaritans very helpful, but MIND have been helpful
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
Ive been there @jennifer1967 . You have reached burnout.

Please contact SS and tell them that you seriously cannot go on and need emergency respite. Does the GP understand exactly what you are saying - that you are feeling suicidal?

Personally, Ive never found the Samaritans very helpful, but MIND have been helpful
they think my low mood is causing me to feel pain more its the other way round my pain is causing my low mood because i cant do things i want to
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
Nevertheless, if you are feeling suicidal that needs addressing, whatever the cause.
they are talking about reducing ones i have put another one in the mix which wont take effect for a couple of weeks so ive got even less to fight for they seemed to ignore that i was at that level still dont realise its like a broken leg and needs treating im still not been treated for it but given wellbeing phone line. that hurt more than anything because i felt that i wasnt valid or more accurately my life wasnt valid to save.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,650
South East
I certainly am not on their side but they are heavily controlled about the drugs they can give out , please do seek some help or get back in touch with Gp and tell them how you feel again , there maybe another Gp more helpful . Try the well-being helpline , it may just help . YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND VALID 🤗 You are doing one of the hardest job‘s of caring whilst in pain , you need help and support as we all do from time to time .
 

None the Wiser

Registered User
Feb 3, 2020
102
I agree with @canary you need to contact Social Services. They need to do a carers Assessment and you can tell them about the pain you’re experiencing and your GP’s response. You shouldn’t have to live with constant pain in this day and age. It’s no wonder you’re feeling that life isn’t worth living. Do you have a branch of Care for the Carers nearby? You could contact them too, and they should be able to put you in touch with the appropriate people.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
I certainly am not on their side but they are heavily controlled about the drugs they can give out , please do seek some help or get back in touch with Gp and tell them how you feel again , there maybe another Gp more helpful . Try the well-being helpline , it may just help . YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND VALID 🤗 You are doing one of the hardest job‘s of caring whilst in pain , you need help and support as we all do from time to time .
my gp comes back next week so basically thats it. i spoke to 2 docs today. my daughter was so livid she complained about the first one so another phoned.she is a dispensing asst and knows there are other things they could give me.im not sure they knew what to do with me
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
I agree with @canary you need to contact Social Services. They need to do a carers Assessment and you can tell them about the pain you’re experiencing and your GP’s response. You shouldn’t have to live with constant pain in this day and age. It’s no wonder you’re feeling that life isn’t worth living. Do you have a branch of Care for the Carers nearby? You could contact them too, and they should be able to put you in touch with the appropriate people.
i will have a look for that. feelings come in huge waves and hard to control but thankyou
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,513
Essex
Can anyone remember the Alzheimers Society's help line number that they could pass on to Jenny?

MaNaAk
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,650
South East
my gp comes back next week so basically thats it. i spoke to 2 docs today. my daughter was so livid she complained about the first one so another phoned.she is a dispensing asst and knows there are other things they could give me.im not sure they knew what to do with me
That’s not good , could you call SS as others suggested and see if you could get a couple of weeks respite to give yourself a chance to rest ? I’m sorry things are so hard and hope that you can get some support and better pain relief soon .
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
628
thankyou all for your support hugs you have done me more good in a few hours than the docs have done all day. my husband is only mild really with prompts and some personal care. he still got capacity so i couldnt force him and they wouldnt accept him but because he has copd i do everything in the house and garden. im going to find out about things you all have advised. i was scared to say how bad i felt but shouldnt have . thank and have a lovely evening jenny
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
did speak to 2 gps who both thought my low mood was making pain worse when its in fact the pain thats dipping my mood my gp is coming back next week who is very lovely but until then ive still going through it
Aw I'm sorry. Fingers crossed your gp can help once they are back next week 🤞