I am new to this Talking Point forum and as I don't know who else to talk to really without sounding like a proper whinger (which is of course I am doing!) I thought I'd give it a go. I am in my very early fifties and have given up my entire life (not by choice) it seems to look after my mum who has dementia. Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely person, never moans, never demands, understands that I have to spend time with my husband (she thinks he's my dad by the way), and just accepts the situation she's in with grace and dignity, so why do I feel so sad and resentful towards her? She can still get up, get dressed and her house is spotless and is very helpful when she comes to our house every night. There is still a lot she can do but feel I am constantly behind her as I feed her twice a day, see to all her appointments, take her everywhere otherwise she wouldn't go out, see to her finances etc, you know the sort of stuff, you're all there I expect. The biggest problem I have if I'm honest, I don't want to be wholly responsible for mum's life any more and the constant guilt I feel if I go out without her is overwhelming and when I don't see her one night in the week, I'm really happy, how awful is that! It's like having a small child again. I have spoken to Mum about this and she understands how difficult it is which makes the situation even worse sometimes. The saddest thing that I really struggle with is that she doesn't see me as a daughter anymore and introduces me as her cousin, she does however remember that she has two sons, so not sure really how that works. I have a loving husband who never moans about mum being round all the time, but we can't go on holiday and any events I have to plan round her being fed or looked after because I know mum would not manage for any length of time without intervention and she won't have carers in - usual thing. Her mental well being deteriorates quickly if I don't see her for a few hours due to not eating or drinking enough and it then takes a lot of effort each time to bring her back to some sort of normal. I just feel like everybody else can get on with their life with no problem and I have been somewhat lumbered with this situation. I love my mum but I feel trapped and with that feelings of resentment keep coming to the surface making me miserable and everybody then just avoids me until I pick myself up again. I don't think anybody who hasn't experienced caring for somebody really understands the massive emotional impact of dementia and I applaud all you people out there who are experiencing many more demands than I am. I thought I'd feel better for writing this, but I don't as it just makes me feel very ungrateful for what I can still do with my mum. Sorry Mum. Thank you for listening.