Hi everyone
Had to post tonight because I am feeling so very confused and distressed.
I visited mom today and apart from the tears over the usual things, not wanting to stay in the care home and missing dad who died a year ago, she seemed so normal. Mom was diagnosed with AD last year and as I have mentioned before we were told that by now she would be very bad and not be able to recognise us. Well apart from her short term memory getting worse and her crying being just as bad she is the same as one year ago and I am starting to wonder if she has AD. Am I just fooling myself or is she just very very depressed. The thing is we were strongly advised to put mom into care because she was crying continuously and wasn't taking care of herself, hiding soiled underwear and not doing anything for herself. The final straw was when she found dad's clothes which we had hidden away and slashed them to pieces, she could have hurt herself. She has now forgotten that she did this. We tried so hard, my sister and myself but mom seemed to be going downhill and we were persuaded to put her into care. She thinks that she is only there for convalescence as we can't bring ourselves to tell her that it is permanent and have had mixed advice as to whether this would be a good thing to do. Anyhow this week we are giving her house up as it is rented and we can't pay the rent and the top up fees. IT ALL SEEMS SO WRONG It is too late now but tonight I feel so tearful and so sad and so guilty. She was saying that she is coming home at the weekend and I knew that she doesn't have a home to come back to. How hard is this. I know that you are all going through distressing times and somehow it helps to put my thoughts and fears into words. I don't want to let my husband and sons know how I feel because they feel that I should accept the situation and stop being so stressed. If only.
Thanks for reading this.
Jacky
Had to post tonight because I am feeling so very confused and distressed.
I visited mom today and apart from the tears over the usual things, not wanting to stay in the care home and missing dad who died a year ago, she seemed so normal. Mom was diagnosed with AD last year and as I have mentioned before we were told that by now she would be very bad and not be able to recognise us. Well apart from her short term memory getting worse and her crying being just as bad she is the same as one year ago and I am starting to wonder if she has AD. Am I just fooling myself or is she just very very depressed. The thing is we were strongly advised to put mom into care because she was crying continuously and wasn't taking care of herself, hiding soiled underwear and not doing anything for herself. The final straw was when she found dad's clothes which we had hidden away and slashed them to pieces, she could have hurt herself. She has now forgotten that she did this. We tried so hard, my sister and myself but mom seemed to be going downhill and we were persuaded to put her into care. She thinks that she is only there for convalescence as we can't bring ourselves to tell her that it is permanent and have had mixed advice as to whether this would be a good thing to do. Anyhow this week we are giving her house up as it is rented and we can't pay the rent and the top up fees. IT ALL SEEMS SO WRONG It is too late now but tonight I feel so tearful and so sad and so guilty. She was saying that she is coming home at the weekend and I knew that she doesn't have a home to come back to. How hard is this. I know that you are all going through distressing times and somehow it helps to put my thoughts and fears into words. I don't want to let my husband and sons know how I feel because they feel that I should accept the situation and stop being so stressed. If only.
Thanks for reading this.
Jacky