My mother is in a wheelchair and uses a 'Stedy' mobile support aid that allows her to stand up to be moved from bed and her chair. We use this to transport her to the toilet, shower, etc. She has no upper body strength and is a heavy, dense weight. My 88-year-old father is her main carer and I help with cooking for most of the weeks' evening meals plus other shopping and trying to sort out the mess of my mother's paperwork (she has a buying impulse and hides everything from me). My father has just had a mild stroke and has been told not to drive. I live 40 miles away and have been staying overnight again each week to take him to hospital appointments, shop, wash, clean and whatever they need. We took mum and dad on holiday and although house had wheel chair access, it was extremely difficult getting her out of bed or on to lavatory without this aid. She fell trying to get on to loo seat more than once and was badly bruised. Even before my father was taken ill, it is so difficult getting her in and out of both his and my car and I am refusing to take her out as if she falls I'll never get her up. Because of her buying impulse (either through catalogues or my father constantly giving in to her) she is always very restless. She only likes a limited amount of programmes on TV, can't concentrate to read, doesn't like to do anything craft-wise and doesn't want talking books. All she wants is to talk or go out and their nearest shopping centre is always hazardously busy. They are both in denial about how ill my mother is and I know that when my father gets the all-clear to drive again, he will take her for miles in the car and I do not think either he or she is up to it. They were awarded four carer visits with two carers per visit but won't use this help. They are making me stressed out with worry. I have cut off from all my friends because this has been going on for years. I can't make commitments because I don't know when next something is going happen (as it has in the past). My son has mild learning difficulties and I don't have time to help him. Until recently, she went to daycare which she loved. She says she's not been up to it and she does get very tired. I feel so bad not taking her out.