Hi, I have recently started caring for my MIL and FIL who moved in with us 2 years ago. Unfortunately my MIL has just been diagnosed with LB Dementia after she was having no end of problems which she hid fairly well. The problem that I am having is that my FIL is not handling the situation very well. He almost seems to feel that she has got this awful disease just to 'spite' him.
She is a wonderful caring woman who has always looked after her family first and foremost. However, I cannot understand how my FIL can be so awful to her and uncaring towards her making statements such as she is incompetent / stupid and an imbecile, even asking her to repeat what he has said to her. In my heart of hearts I feel that he is 'scared', she has never worked and always attended to his every need, now all of a sudden she needs his support and understanding and he very matter of fact states that he 'is not capable of dealing with this / he doesn't want to'.
I would like to think that this is just an adverse reaction to the diagnosis. He doesn't want any information on her condition, her medications and doesn't see that life should change to accommodate her illness.
I cannot understand this thinking, but maybe it is perfectly normal. Has anyone experienced this kind of reaction before and can anyone suggest how I can help??? I am at my wits end and have tried to include him in the diagnosis etc since I first had my concerns. My husband is handling this brilliantly but he will not say anything to his father as in his opinion 'it will only make things much worse'.
Sorry to ramble but just want to help this wonderful woman enjoy what she has left and hate to see her confidence eroded further on a daily basis.
Thank you
George
She is a wonderful caring woman who has always looked after her family first and foremost. However, I cannot understand how my FIL can be so awful to her and uncaring towards her making statements such as she is incompetent / stupid and an imbecile, even asking her to repeat what he has said to her. In my heart of hearts I feel that he is 'scared', she has never worked and always attended to his every need, now all of a sudden she needs his support and understanding and he very matter of fact states that he 'is not capable of dealing with this / he doesn't want to'.
I would like to think that this is just an adverse reaction to the diagnosis. He doesn't want any information on her condition, her medications and doesn't see that life should change to accommodate her illness.
I cannot understand this thinking, but maybe it is perfectly normal. Has anyone experienced this kind of reaction before and can anyone suggest how I can help??? I am at my wits end and have tried to include him in the diagnosis etc since I first had my concerns. My husband is handling this brilliantly but he will not say anything to his father as in his opinion 'it will only make things much worse'.
Sorry to ramble but just want to help this wonderful woman enjoy what she has left and hate to see her confidence eroded further on a daily basis.
Thank you
George