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Registered User
Feb 1, 2015
I guess sometimes its the seemingly smaller, more trivial things that can cause the most frustration. Beyond doing the most basic things mum is now completely dependant upon me and carers to get meals, dress and look afer her personal hygiene etc. Over the past few years she has developed a habit of grunting/groaning and while I feel awful for saying this, I really find it an annoying habit! I wonder how common this is? In some ways I'm surprised that it is this that seems to be causing me the most irritation right now and feel bad about it.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I bet she has no idea what she is doing @Rob_E

I had a friend who was quite ill and she made heavy sighing sounds. I realised her partner was making the same sounds as if mirroring my friend`s emotions.

I know it`s not the same as your mother and do understand how irritating it can be. I wonder if these sounds are her inner feelings but she is unaware they can be heard.


Registered User
Apr 19, 2016
Chard, Somerset
With mum it was constantly shuffling her feet on the floor. I could cope when it was the hard kitchen floor but when she sat to watch TV she shuffled the rug (a thick one, with a lining to prevent slipping) into a ruck and it drove me mad. She had no idea she was doing it.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Mum didnt do this, but there was a lady in her care home who did.
I gather that vocalisation is often used as a self-soothing mechanism, like thumb sucking in babies. Have you tried something like a cuddly toy which might work as a substitute for self-soothing? I wonder whether medication for anxiety might help?


Registered User
Mar 22, 2019
For yourself get some headphones and listen to what ever you like, tune out the noise and try to relax a bit


Registered User
May 22, 2015
Oh yes! Mum lives with me and aside from the constant crying and wailing, also grunts and groans. I know she can't help it but it is dreadfully annoying! She also tap dances with her feet on the floor constantly, or if she wants attention keeps banging them together loudly on the floor, especially in the bedroom at night. I have wooden floorboards everywhere as live in a cottage so it's really noisy when she does this. She has also started tapping her fingers on the candlesticks and coasters throughout mealtimes at the table, and the basin in the bathroom and headboard in bed. It's definitely a cacophony of sound in my house. Sigh.
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New member
May 27, 2022
I am ready to explode with frustration at my mum. Every time we are just sat quietly, she moans/groans on every single out breath. She's not in any pain.
I tried turning the telly up to drown it out, but she just does it even louder! It's almost like she needs to hear herself breathing to check that she is still alive!