Hi @margherita I feel the same time & life is passing us by, but what can we do nothing. Best way isn’t it saves a lot of hassle. There are times though when I can’t stop myself & I do contradict him then WW3 breaks out. We don’t have conversations he has nothing he wants to talk to me about. He has no interest in anything at all. If I start talking about anything in general there isn’t a lot of input just yes or no. So now I don’t bother. Don’t know about reasoning going first his memory is nearly nil. He is always having trouble with the remote for tv I have shown him hundreds of times what to do. Last night I noticed his tv wasn’t on so I went in bedroom & said I would put it on. He started shouting & saying I don’t know what’s wrong with this tv. I felt like saying it’s not the tv it’s you. However I didn’t I just calmly switched it on & left the room no Thankyou or nothing. It’s great isn’t it. I don’t know about you but I get so frustrated & down . I go through all kind of emotions in a day I do believe this caring is not good for our health. I can honestly say if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t have time or patience for me. I remember his first marriage his wife had a nervous breakdown he spent all the hours god sends at work out of the way. Her mother looked after her as she lived with them in granny flat. He was ready to have her sectioned. No the wonder she divorced him on irretrievable breakdown. Well I hope you not having too bad a day . I am waiting the family arriving. He has been up had dinner now gone back up to his bedroom.Speak soon my friend take care xx
Grumpy OH
- Thread starter Beads
- Start date
Hi MIA56 so pleased J is home it’s gonna be a lot of work for you though . So just know your limit & then get some help you can’t be expected to do it all on your own. Oh the dreaded stepdaughter let her get on you can do without all the upset . She should be helping her father & you not causing trouble. You do right not to have her over the doorstep nasty piece of work. As if you didn’t have enough on your plate of late .So sorry your niece then your friend & work colleague all passing . We just never know what life will throw at us next just aswell really.. So sad . Really glad house issues are all completed & you could have a chill in your garden. Hope you had a glass or two of wine my friend ., Yes it would be lovely to be able to meet up for a chat & glass of wine . For now we will have to put up with via posts . The hospital sounded gross not surprised you wanted J home ASAP. Hope he continues to improve . Remember though think of yourself also . As we carers say no one looks after the carer. Speak soon great to see you back on here my friend lots of love & (((hugs))) sending your way. xxx
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Hi Dementia Wife welcome to our friendly thread . Thankyou for your kind words . I hope now that you have found us that you continue to post also. Yes we certainly do have personal exchanges that’s the only way we can get things off our chest & have a good old rant. Wishing you strength too.Hope to speak again. Many thanks again for your kind words . A
Hi M you sound a lot more upbeat really pleased. J sure to be weak after all he has been through but yes I agree he needs to move about otherwise . Don’t use it you lose it as the saying goes. Glad your daughter is giving you a couple of hours off. That’s brilliant he is ok with her & doesn’t play up.Its just us mugs that they have a lend of. Hope you had a lovely coffee & chilled out for awhile .Oh dear sounds nasty a broken wrist. Yes be good to get back to normality with family visiting. Well you know what I mean as normal as is possible. Four months it’s just like yesterday he was born bless him. The weather here is grim it’s freezing cold windy & wet. I was out bright & early to take my daughter & grandchildren to there swimming lessons. As her turbo went on car it’s waiting to be picked up tomorrow by garage. Then went with son DIL & granddaughter for lunch really enjoyed it. I was back by 2 .30 . OH has just now got up it is nearly 5 pm. His mobility is really bad now & his memory . He can’t remember something that was said to him 5 mins ago. Hope your Sunday is going smoothly . Speak soon my friend A xx
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Hi M no you haven’t lost it neither are you a mad cow. After all you have been through with J & still going through I’m not surprised you let off steam. I don’t know about life is nuts I sometimes think I’m going nuts. We put up with such a lot it’s a wonder we don’t flip more often. Hope you enjoyed u chill out in the garden with a few glasses of wine both well deserved . Look forward to you posting tonight will have a laugh. Enjoy your casserole . Don’t get too pixxed. Ha ha ha . Speak soon. A xxx
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Reading TP last night while dozing, I just wanted to let you know you made me laugh with you "Is she really 45?" Priceless. No one, I mean no one, is wearing your shoes but you. And thousands of others that are not in your immediate family. But we are family on this site. Please continue to stand your ground for having some respite. We all need it.
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Are you able to get out and leave him for a few hours? Shops a class or see a friend or daughter?
My husband is grumpy too and it hasn't been an easy marriage, but at least I can go out and he doesn't panic or get into mischief.
Hi M I previously responded to this post think you have to click on expand for some reason . How’s J today & yourself. Hope all is peaceful & no friction. It is sunny here but oh boy when it goes in it’s freezing cold. Was gonna cut the lawn but changed my mind supposed to get warmer back end of week so will do it then. I cut it just over a week ago the first cut of the year & when I was finished I was knackered to say the least. We have to be gardeners mechanics decorator chef & carer . Couple of days later after gardening my back was killing me & my ankle finished up putting support sock on for a few days. I lift heavy stuff about in garden the trouble is not as young as I used to be. This role sure takes its toll on us. Speak soon M take care. Xx
@margherita how are you anything happening with you .? Xx
@longlostfan hope you ok. xx
To all hope you are having a peaceful day. Xx
A
@margherita how are you anything happening with you .? Xx
@longlostfan hope you ok. xx
To all hope you are having a peaceful day. Xx
A
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I am learning how to deal with issues of dementia through posts like yours. Thank
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Hi @Roseleigh yes I am able to leave him for a few hours. Normally I go out early morning walking with my friend or even pop to the shops. He is a late riser some days it’s nearer teatime when he gets up. So I’m usually back before he’s up.
Sorry to hear you also have a Grumpy OH & not an easy marriage. Join the club. You will find on this thread there are so many of us in the same situation. Welcome to the thread keep posting & Thankyou for taking the time to reply. A
Hi M bless you your emotions are all over the place you have been & still going through so much with J. You know without the Dr telling you that J is not a well man possibly after bloods done you might be put more in picture. This last episode has taken its toll on him hasn’t it. SS might suggest you getting some help so as your not gonna get exhausted. We like to think we can do everything ourselves but we have our limits. Hope you poorly belly is better. Don’t you be poorly my friend. Thinking of you lots of love & (((hugs))). Take good care . Enjoy your tipple. Speak soon .xx A
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Hi @Beads , thanks, haven’t posted on here for a bit - still have this wretched labrynthitis and have real trouble balancing when walking so have been virtually housebound for the last 3 weeks - no escape to work alas - and of course OH doesn’t have any memory of this happening and has to be reminded all the time. Have been to the docs and it’s all a bit vague about how long it takes to recover, could be several weeks. Just what I need! I really hate not being able to go to work, but it’s a job where I’m on my feet etc and I couldn’t do it for fear of falling down. Round the house I can grab bits of furniture etc. The worst thing is the feeling like I’m drunk the whole time, without the nice bit of not caring about anything. OH obviously still expects meals etc and is now quite incapable of getting anything much for himself except bread and butter. He stares at the garden and says he feels useless as he can’t do anything much. My son bless him has cut the lawns and done some tidying up. I really want him (my son) to get on with his own life and it seems that something always happens here. It’s a bit scary for me feeling unable to cope as I’ve always tried to be really independent and carry on regardless.
Anyway must hope for the best - and I wish the weather would improve, we seem to have one sunny day and back to wind and rain.
Oh dear we all do have probs don’t we. I feel guilty for saying it but life would be so much easier without the constant worry of dealing with a PWD and when lots of memories are not all that wonderful it makes it that much harder. Still, they say be careful what you wish for! At the moment I will settle for feeling back to my normal self so I can soldier on.
Do hope everything is bearable for you at the moment with your Grumpy and that you continue to get distractions with your family and upcoming events etc. As you say we’re not getting any younger and we have to develop all sorts of roles don’t we. I think we all do pretty well considering the lack of help and support from official sources.
Love to you all xx
Hi @Beads and @MIA56 and all of you who write on this thread.
I am reasonably well, even though the situation is unchanged. A friend and former colleague visited me yesterday and the day before yesterday. He is a lovely person and I enjoyed his company.
A reasoning being to chat with, at last.
He did not sleep in our home, but in a lovely B&B which is near here.
We spent a lot of time together, OH was in the host mode, but luckily he did not have much time to spend with us because he had to look after the boy who helps him with the garden.
Just a word about the reason why my friend did not sleep in our home.
We have two bedrooms, one upstairs which is OH's and the other, which is mine, downstairs. We could put a makeshift bed in another room, which I did till some years ago, when I used to give the guest my bedroom and I slept in the makeshift bed. After a bitter argument with OH about his son, we decided that no one would ever sleep in our home. Neither his son or mine or anyone else.
Luckily there is a comfortable and cheap B&B near here where I can host my guests and OH his.
I'll reply to your posts later, because OH wants to go out to buy a new grass mower .
I am reasonably well, even though the situation is unchanged. A friend and former colleague visited me yesterday and the day before yesterday. He is a lovely person and I enjoyed his company.
A reasoning being to chat with, at last.
He did not sleep in our home, but in a lovely B&B which is near here.
We spent a lot of time together, OH was in the host mode, but luckily he did not have much time to spend with us because he had to look after the boy who helps him with the garden.
Just a word about the reason why my friend did not sleep in our home.
We have two bedrooms, one upstairs which is OH's and the other, which is mine, downstairs. We could put a makeshift bed in another room, which I did till some years ago, when I used to give the guest my bedroom and I slept in the makeshift bed. After a bitter argument with OH about his son, we decided that no one would ever sleep in our home. Neither his son or mine or anyone else.
Luckily there is a comfortable and cheap B&B near here where I can host my guests and OH his.
I'll reply to your posts later, because OH wants to go out to buy a new grass mower .
Hi @margherita good to here from you. Was beginning to think something was wrong. Pleased you have had company & good chat & few laughs . What a difference it makes doesn’t it. Right he was in host mode your friend will know better though that it’s all a front. Well it gave you more chance to talk freely if OH was helping in the garden. These step families cause hassle all round don’t they. Saves on the arguments then any guests stopping @B&B. Hope OH got his lawn mower. Our daughters car is in garage for repair, so I am taxi at the moment. Just aswell she is off on holiday this week. Well I will go taxi calls ha ha. Speak later margherita take care my friend. xxx
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