Grumpy OH

[rhubarbtree]

I cannot blame OH for all of the hoard but I didn't take into account that in the last few years he has been unable to sort and put things away sensibly. You just would not believe how many electrical tools I have unearthed this week. And unopened packs of screws, small tools etc. He did go through a buying spree phrase but I thought it was only toiletries. I am trying to set apart a small tool box of things we might use and then my nephew is going to take everything else but I still need to bin the rubbish. The saddest thing is his set of chisels sitting in their lined box all gone rusty. He was very good at woodwork and at least we still have some things he made.

No shower this morning and he has been wearing his pyjama jacket as a shirt. I have got over yesterday's insult and will encourage a shower later on. No other option.

 

[margherita]

No shower this morning and he has been wearing his pyjama jacket as a shirt. I have got over yesterday's insult and will encourage a shower later on. No other option.

Hope you succeeded in persuading your husband to have a shower.
My husband is obsessed with cleaning and personal hygiene.
I wonder if he will change when dementia progresses

 

[longlostfan]

Hi everyone I went back to work today after breaking my wrist several weeks ago ( I work in a library on Saturdays). Had very little sleep last night again with OH getting up and peeing every hour or so, soaked incontinence pants and pj trousers left on radiators to dry cos he can't remember to put them in plastic bags. And in fact can't remember getting up and not reaching the loo in time either, actually said I was "deluded". Right. He was on his own today for the first time in weeks, I leave his meals out for him. But although I'm really tired it was great just to be me again for a day. Am not sure how long I can continue working even just for one day a week, with things as they are, he usually just sleeps or watches tv if he remembers how to turn it on. But he actually made me a cuppa when I got back, first time for ages. That aside am beginning to feel worn down. I expect you all know that feeling! Best wishes to all, rant over!!

 

[Sammie234]

I really don’t know how you do it, looking after someone just out of duty when there is obviously no love left between you, it’s heartbreaking enough doing it for someone who regardless of their having Alzheimer’s/dementia you still love. You all deserve a medal . well OH not in a particularly good mood this evening but that’s because his arm is really giving him jip. He had flue job and pneumonia jabs today. It’s the pneumonia one that’s really painful this evening. Strange he had forgotten he had had the injection in an an hour, we went into town had tea and scones in a lovely tea shop which was really good and then came back. Yesterday ended up looking after two babies and he went to sleep in the chair and then decided to take the dog out for his walk went for an hour. There was me lugging two little sherman tanks around that sounds funny but they are both really solid the grandson is coming up to 2 and his little sister 8months. They don’t eat junk food or sweets either got them again early Monday morning then I have my diabetes eye test in the afternoon anyway hope you all get some sleep I doubt I will get much myself tonight.

 

[PalSal]

I cannot blame OH for all of the hoard but I didn't take into account that in the last few years he has been unable to sort and put things away sensibly. You just would not believe how many electrical tools I have unearthed this week. And unopened packs of screws, small tools etc. He did go through a buying spree phrase but I thought it was only toiletries. I am trying to set apart a small tool box of things we might use and then my nephew is going to take everything else but I still need to bin the rubbish. The saddest thing is his set of chisels sitting in their lined box all gone rusty. He was very good at woodwork and at least we still have some things he made.

No shower this morning and he has been wearing his pyjama jacket as a shirt. I have got over yesterday's insult and will encourage a shower later on. No other option.

Girlfriend!! I am so with you on the boxes of tools and nails and skrews. I gave a huge amount away to a Belarus charity a few years ago....but not nearly enough.
But the amazing thing is I rarely find what I need to fix anything...I am all thumbs most of the time. It is still requiring further cleanup. He still picks of bits of junk on his walks which he thinks he will use or mend something with. But I got a giggle from your post.

 

[Caz60]

Hi everyone,hope you have had a bit of peace over the weekend at least the weather has been kind to us.
My hubby has got a new problem over the last couple of days.He's crying out on waking that he can't move and I'm having to coax him to sit up .He has suffered over the years back problems
but it's not clear what's happening because he's talking nonsense as well .
He's still in bed im going to try and get him up and take it from there. Not sure what else to do.
Love to all.xxx

 

[john1939]

Girlfriend!! I am so with you on the boxes of tools and nails and skrews. I gave a huge amount away to a Belarus charity a few years ago....but not nearly enough.
But the amazing thing is I rarely find what I need to fix anything...I am all thumbs most of the time. It is still requiring further cleanup. He still picks of bits of junk on his walks which he thinks he will use or mend something with. But I got a giggle from your post.

Hello, Seems you don't have to be a suffer from dementia in order to hoard. A friend was getting his boiler serviced in the garage, and when the service man saw the garage he commented "I did not know you were a warehouse for Lidl" as he saw the large amount of screws , tools and other DIY gear.

 

[rhubarbtree]

Margherita - My OH was very careful with personal hygiene but I think we are further down the road than you. As I said earlier he did bulk/panic buy toiletries for a while.

Longlostfan - I do believe "absence makes the heart grow fonder". My OH is always most pleasant when I pick him up from the day centre. If only there were more and better. Keep working while you want to. Someone said to me once "Are you allowed to leave him?" like as if they think this illness is monitored or regulated. I work on the basis that I leave him until something happens. Only a couple of hours for U3A groups.

Caz60 - My OH complains about his back but I am not really sure how bad it is because nowadays he makes such a fuss about every little ailment. I tend to prescribe two paracetemol. Wonder if that would help your OH.

One of my sons has just left taking some things from the Narnia shed and I should be out doing some more sorting. Perhaps after lunch. Hope you are all experiencing this lovely weather. Bit of a bonus.

 

[Beads]

Hello, bin the stuff the night before they are lifted. That's what I had to do.My wife would frequently check the bin to see if I had thrown away anything"useful" like plastic food containers odd cardboard packaging.

Will do that John1939 good idea.

 

[Beads]

I really don’t know how you do it, looking after someone just out of duty when there is obviously no love left between you, it’s heartbreaking enough doing it for someone who regardless of their having Alzheimer’s/dementia you still love. You all deserve a medal . well OH not in a particularly good mood this evening but that’s because his arm is really giving him jip. He had flue job and pneumonia jabs today. It’s the pneumonia one that’s really painful this evening. Strange he had forgotten he had had the injection in an an hour, we went into town had tea and scones in a lovely tea shop which was really good and then came back. Yesterday ended up looking after two babies and he went to sleep in the chair and then decided to take the dog out for his walk went for an hour. There was me lugging two little sherman tanks around that sounds funny but they are both really solid the grandson is coming up to 2 and his little sister 8months. They don’t eat junk food or sweets either got them again early Monday morning then I have my diabetes eye test in the afternoon anyway hope you all get some sleep I doubt I will get much myself tonight.

Hi Sammie234 aaw 2 lovely grandsons they will bring so much enjoyment into your life. I like the Sherman tank label so funny. Friday I had my 2 granddaughters here they were both laid in there car seats sound asleep then one woke the other crying. They are 9 weeks & 4 weeks both girls ,plus my other granddaughter she is 6 she is like the mother hen towards them bless her. . I love it when all family are home visiting. Keeps us young & I forget everything else if only for a few hours. My OH had his flu jab he forgot he had it as well. His short term memory is reallly bad. Nice chatting hope you having a peaceful day....

 

[dlombardo]

Hi folks hope you all having a better day than me. Been with my pregnant daughter this morning to get last minute baby shopping as she is due any day. OH in bed when I left early morning so I left a note because most days he doesn't get up till 2 or later in the afternoon. On return he was usual place reading paper in kitchen. No speaking when we got in as usual. Never asks our daughter how she is , so annoying. He thinks I have to be just sat in the house go nowhere & that is it so once again in the grumps. Daughter goes home then he starts shouting because I asked him where some keys were , I am every name under the sun including an idiot with a f before that. Then he takes himself off upstairs . My friend comes up we have a bit chat she leaves he comes back down goes in kitchen reading the paper again. Omg I just want to scream I am so sick of this existence. I text daughter & said what had happened. I am honestly thinking of just going in kitchen & saying to him I want him to go to a day centre because I am fed up of the way he is. I need some space it is soul destroying. As I have said before he always was a bad tempered person I always had to be careful what I said to him .like walking on eggshells & now this dementia. To be honest the way he acts now is no different to the way he has been all my married life which is 34 years . Apart from his memory & mobility. Well folks that's my moan over. See what tomorrow brings. ...

 

[Beads]

Hi MIA56 you have had a busy week. Your BIL must think he has won the lottery bless him. At least you have put all in order for him , now solicitors can organise the rest. Shame you were driving a well deserved glass of wine would have been lovely. I think our OHs take turns been potty mouthed, when all the family were here Friday he did manage to mix for awhile which makes a change . He has the odd word with me when they here then as soon as they left his mode went back to Grumpy & speechless. Never mind we still plod on. I didn't go out yesterday with daughter as she couldn't make it. I don't like to think about the future & how we will manage but I would imagine we will cope got no choice. Hope your day is going ok & J in better mood. Speak soon...

 

[Beads]

It is summer here. I have just been lying in the sun, but it was too hot.
In a few minutes I'll be going for a walk in the country around the house. I want to pick small branches and other stuff with which I will make Christmas wreaths

OH margherita I am so jealous of that." Lying in the sun but too hot " you lucky thing, it was sunny here this morning now it's changed & is cold & raining. Did you manage to pick you branches for your wreaths. Myself & my friend who I walk with , while we were out walking did the same thing last year. However my wreath wasn't very successful as I hung it on outside door one morning I got up it was all laid on floor just the ribbon left hanging. So don't think I'll bother this year , I will just buy one. You sound as though you might do this every year so you know what your doing. ..speak soon.

 

[Beads]

Hi everyone I went back to work today after breaking my wrist several weeks ago ( I work in a library on Saturdays). Had very little sleep last night again with OH getting up and peeing every hour or so, soaked incontinence pants and pj trousers left on radiators to dry cos he can't remember to put them in plastic bags. And in fact can't remember getting up and not reaching the loo in time either, actually said I was "deluded". Right. He was on his own today for the first time in weeks, I leave his meals out for him. But although I'm really tired it was great just to be me again for a day. Am not sure how long I can continue working even just for one day a week, with things as they are, he usually just sleeps or watches tv if he remembers how to turn it on. But he actually made me a cuppa when I got back, first time for ages. That aside am beginning to feel worn down. I expect you all know that feeling! Best wishes to all, rant over!!

Hi longlostfan the incontinence & being disturbed many times during the night must really make you exhausted. I am glad we are not at that stage yet . I do get disturbed however I don't sleep well anyway. I bet it was great to be back at work to be away from it all for a few hours & normality. I hope you can manage to keep on working as long as you can for your sanity . He must have been pleased to see you come back that was nice of him. Does them good to be left on there own if they can still manage ok. As in the future as it progresses we could be more tied down & find it harder to have some me time. Well just heard OH go in bathroom so I will go sort his lunch more like tea. Speak soon take care....

 

[Beads]

Hi dlombardo. I noticed you have clicked on my status but not posted. Is it because of the vascular dementia/Alzheimer's.

 

[Sammie234]

Hi Sammie234 aaw 2 lovely grandsons they will bring so much enjoyment into your life. I like the Sherman tank label so funny. Friday I had my 2 granddaughters here they were both laid in there car seats sound asleep then one woke the other crying. They are 9 weeks & 4 weeks both girls ,plus my other granddaughter she is 6 she is like the mother hen towards them bless her. . I love it when all family are home visiting. Keeps us young & I forget everything else if only for a few hours. My OH had his flu jab he forgot he had it as well. His short term memory is reallly bad. Nice chatting hope you having a peaceful day....

Hi Sammie234 aaw 2 lovely grandsons they will bring so much enjoyment into your life. I like the Sherman tank label so funny. Friday I had my 2 granddaughters here they were both laid in there car seats sound asleep then one woke the other crying. They are 9 weeks & 4 weeks both girls ,plus my other granddaughter she is 6 she is like the mother hen towards them bless her. . I love it when all family are home visiting. Keeps us young & I forget everything else if only for a few hours. My OH had his flu jab he forgot he had it as well. His short term memory is reallly bad. Nice chatting hope you having a peaceful day....

Hi @Beads should have said the older one is a boy the younger a girl but both so alike, I nicknamed them Sherman tanks because both so heavy but we called them Irish twins as well because so close together, dads Irish by the way. We also have 3 other grandchildren my sons little brood, Eldest girl 13 next girl 10 and another boy who is three, love them all to bits very close with the eldest because she lived with us when born until son got a house moved when she was two, sensitive little soul, she has been hardest hit really by her grandads illness.Hubby got some feeling back in his arm after the jab, when he got up this morning didn’t understand why his arm hurt. Explained again about the jab, forgets so quickly though just like you OH Lovely talking to you all on here think I’d go nuts otherwise have a good night.

 

[margherita]

The only chance we have to enjoy a calm day is when they sleep.
Glad you could have a rest from your everyday struggles

 

[margherita]

OH margherita I am so jealous of that." Lying in the sun but too hot " you lucky thing, it was sunny here this morning now it's changed & is cold & raining. Did you manage to pick you branches for your wreaths. Myself & my friend who I walk with , while we were out walking did the same thing last year. However my wreath wasn't very successful as I hung it on outside door one morning I got up it was all laid on floor just the ribbon left hanging. So don't think I'll bother this year , I will just buy one. You sound as though you might do this every year so you know what your doing. ..speak soon.

Hi Beads,
I picked pinecones, acorns and some little branches of rosehips, which have nice orange berries.
The vineyards have a wonder colour, with their leaves turning yellow, orange and red

Another hot day. Summer seems not to be over, yet.
The negative side is that rains have decreased of 90%, which means damage to agriculture, lack of water and other unpleasant consequencies.

My husband is manageable these days because I never contradict him and let him shadow me.
But I feel my patience is going to evaporate

 

[margherita]

I went back to work today after breaking my wrist several weeks ago
Am not sure how long I can continue working even just for one day a week, with things as they are, he usually just sleeps or watches tv if he remembers how to turn it on. But he actually made me a cuppa when I got back, first time for ages. That aside am beginning to feel worn down. I expect you all know that feeling! Best wishes to all, rant over!!

Hope you can go on working as long as possible because it helps you not to have that horrible (in my opinion) feeling of being " a carer only"

 

[longlostfan]

Hi longlostfan the incontinence & being disturbed many times during the night must really make you exhausted. I am glad we are not at that stage yet . I do get disturbed however I don't sleep well anyway. I bet it was great to be back at work to be away from it all for a few hours & normality. I hope you can manage to keep on working as long as you can for your sanity . He must have been pleased to see you come back that was nice of him. Does them good to be left on there own if they can still manage ok. As in the future as it progresses we could be more tied down & find it harder to have some me time. Well just heard OH go in bathroom so I will go sort his lunch more like tea. Speak soon take care....

Hi Beads thanks for the reply - yes I think it did OH good to be left on his own for a bit, my son escaped to see a friend for a couple of days, bless him. I also don't sleep well apart from the night time disturbances which is a drag, am really hoping the pills he's been prescribed will help but we'll see. Yes it was great to be back at work, it's only 6 hours a week but I feel normal service has been resumed in my brain for a bit! Am trying to sort out LPA now, I already do all the finances but hopefully that will make things more straightforward - will do the DIY one as OH seems to be in agreement, makes it easier for him if I continue to do all. He has no close relatives apart from me and the kids and although I might daydream about running away etc I'm not gonna do it - now there's Fate being tempted. However, if I had a huge lottery win..........there's no knowing what might happen. Fat chance!! You take care x