1. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Thank you all so much.

    Sometimes I think I get so bogged down with looking after Dad that I forget that there's a real person under there. He can quite shock me sometimes.

    I feel a bottle of wine coming on. Even if just to toast the great afternoon we had.

  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Brilliant news, Ajay. I'm so glad that your dad has agreed to carers, hopefully once he gets used to the lunchtime one, he'll be more open to more support.

    Enjoy your wine, it's well-deserved!:)

  3. Doreen99

    Doreen99 Registered User

    Jan 12, 2008
    Dear Ajay

    such good news about your dad accepting a carer at last.

    I will be keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well, so that you can relax a little bit, knowing someone has seen him.
  4. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Dear Ajay...

    I'm sure most of us here will identify with that statement. :)

    The problem is that the person under there is slipping away-and we try to keep up with that-and we all do our best for that person.

    Mine's a large dry white..Pinot Grigio sounds good..well chilled!

    Here's to you and your dad...:)

    Keep in touch..
    Love Gigi xx
  5. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Further update

    Hi again all

    Things are moving very slowly, I finally got so speak to Dads doctor at the end of last week - he keeps being called out of the surgery for some reason and with my work commitments over the last couple of weeks never the twain shall meet! I finally have an appointment to take Dad in again tomorrow afternoon for the doc to start to assess him. I complained (quite politely) about the other doctors attitude and insensitivity.

    A series of care workers have been coming in every lunchtime to make Dad some lunch, they stay for about half an hour and again I had to ask for a huge amount of sensitivity as one wrong word will just see them being evicted again. So far so good, Dad's not totally happy as he claims he can easily cook meals for 8 people, we both just retorted on her fist visit (I made sure I was there)that he could make us something sometime soon. She also checks that he's taken his medication and he seems to be getting used to that, he complained bitterly at first.

    We had to buy a miniature freezer for the food I order in for him - 2 weeks worth at a time of complete frozen meals - and he's quite proud of the little freezer but keeps unplugging it so I fully expect 2 weeks worth of defrosted food will need to be cooked up at some point soon. He's totally horrified at the cost of the food - the delivery man left the paid invoice with him despite my request not to as Dad is totally obsessed with the cost of things, but I think I've managed to pacify him that his attendance allowance pays for it - when I finally get round to completing the forms, how horrendous are they?! It was touch and go for a couple of days while he kept announcing that he just didn't agree with the outrageous cost of it all!

    He's been pretty on the ball for the last few days, we had some downs last week including me being accused of being happy that Mom is having an affair with a well dressed man who comes into the house to see her at night. No mean feat when Mon has been dead for 11 years! I glossed over that one, I suspect sometimes that he has very vivid dreams and is convinced that it's all really happening.

    So I'll post again when I've been to the docs tomorrow.

    Love to all

    AJay xx
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Thanks for the update Ajay.

    The story about unplugging the freezer reminded me of one about my next door neighbour.

    He`d taken a loaf of bread out of his freezer, and was too impatient to wait for it to defrost properly.
    So he separated each slice and arranged them in rows on his not too clean worktops.

    Hope the visit to the doctor goes well tomorrow.

    Love xx
  7. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Oh that is soooooo my Dad, I really laughed at that one!

  8. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006

    I've read your posts but I'm not sure who prescribed your dad Haloperidol. The reason I'm posting about Haloperidolis that my husband was on this drug for about a year before a proper diagnosis of Lewy Body Disease was given. I then found out that this particular drug can cause hallucinations in LBD and because of the parkinson type symptoms this desease shows, can actually be very dangerous. Just a little note of warning to you but of course I don't know what type of dementia your father has. xx TinaT
  9. arun

    arun Registered User

    Nov 10, 2007
    London, UK
    Hi Ajay.

    So glad to hear you sounding positive and in happier spirits.

    Grab all the opportunities you can to keep the laughter and positive spirit going.
    I'm sure this gives your Dad great joy through this time.

    My Mum who had Dementia sadly passed away. However the moments where we laughed and had good times together are the memories that will always remain. The tough ones have just seemed to have faded away .....
  10. Doreen99

    Doreen99 Registered User

    Jan 12, 2008
    Hi Ajay

    I'm glad things are going well with your dad.

    Is there any way you could plug the freezer into a socket that your dad couldn't reach? Like behind the fridge or something?
  11. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire
    Hi Ajay
    My Mum would keep unplugging all appliances, but we bought socket guards or socket safes. Do you think it would work for your Dad to stop him unplugging the freezer? It is a cover that goes over the socket and locks with a plastic key so that without the key, you can't unplug anything.
    Look for them on ebay, or if you like you can PM me your address and I will send you the couple I have. Mum and Dad are now in care and we don't use them anymore.

    I also would monitor Haloperidol use, very carefully.

    I don't want to be a scaremongerer and I know everyone is different, but the side effects of this drug with my Mum was awful. She started stooping from the waist (the professionals told me, normally, they only stoop from the neck) She started trembling, shaking, parkinsons like symptoms and despite stopping this drug, she has never recovered.

    Maybe this would have happened anyway, who knows? I know I will never allow my Dad {who also has dementia) to have Haloperidol.

    Indeed, when my mother-in-law (who also has dementia):( lucky white heather!!! was prescibed Haloperidol, the family refused to give her it.

  12. AJay

    AJay Registered User

    Aug 21, 2007
    Back again

    Hello all and once again thanks for your support and replies.

    I'm now getting worried about the Haloperidol though Dad is only on one a day taken when he goes to bed. Or when he remembers to take it which isn't often these days. I think I'll give his doc a quick ring and ask a few questions about it though I've not noticed any adverse effects.

    Anyhow, on to the long awaited visit to his doctor, and what a HUGE difference in attitude, the doctor was chatty, humourous, interested in Dad and asking him about his various tattoos and where he's been in the world and was brilliant. Dad's anaemia has got worse which concerned the doc and he said that this could cause memory loss so was it OK to run a few questions past Dad to check what was going on. Dad of course readily agreed.

    The sad thing was he scored really badly, it was so sad seeing him struggle with the questions and turning to me to give him the answers. Mind you a couple of them I had to think about! So he's being referred to the memory clinic at the hospital now.

    The care workers are still coming in to give him his lunch, he's still not too happy about it, especially now that one of them has done 2 notices to remind him to take his meds in the morning and evening. He took exception to this so only sees the notices, not what they actually say if you see what I mean, and grumbles about it at least 10 times a visit. And he's still complaining bitterly about the cost of all that food, despite me reminding him that any food costs money.

    We solved the problem of the freezer plug, my partner has managed to tuck it out of the way so Dads forgotten about it. He has a fascination for tracking wiring and unplugging it all to neatly tidy it up, his TV has been unwired many a time, then he can't understand why it won't work and then blames me for unwiring it!

    So it's a case of wait and see what happens next I suppose, I've no idea what goes on at the memory clinic and I only hope that they're as sensitive as his doc was when we go. I'm just hoping that Dad doesn't tell his 'dinner lady' that he doesn't need her any more, he kept making comments today that all he needs is his dog and somebody to post food through his letterbox!

    AJay xxx

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