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Group hug to all those who are worried out of their mind about a loved in a care home


Registered User
Nov 10, 2015
I know there will be many on this forum who like me have a loved on in a care home and can not visit them right now and are worried sick.

What I can't understand is, I know we are all in lock down right now and just have a trip to the shops to buy essential supplies and a trip out for 1 form of exercise and to care for a vulnerable relative (presumably that is meant for a relative at home separately)

So my LO's in a care home and as I understand it all care homes are in lock down right now. They have a staff shortages due to staff self isolation etc and they are getting in agency workers. I can't see how I would be more of a risk going into the care home than an agency worker.

I think the powers that be really need to consider emotional health and welfare of residents in care home and that is just as important to personal care in relation to health and well being.

Let's hope and pray this terrible situation comes to pass soon, meanwhile a big hug to all those who are worrying during this difficult time.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
Hi @mydiamondmum
I appreciate your concerns for your own LO... I remember how I felt when dad's care home closed for norovirus, and I knew at that time that it would only be for a given much shorter time

However, there were 18 residents on dad's floor with 3 other floors and a smaller floor so over 60 residents... some had no visitors, sadly, but many had regular family and friends going in, I know because everyone had to sign in at reception... So there might be 20-30 visitors a day, not the same ones each day.... not all kept to hygiene rules, some were clearly vulnerable themselves and some interacted unhelpfully with other residents, thinking they were helping

That's very different from a handful of agency staff who are trained, fully aware of hygiene procedures and can be controlled by the other staff and manager, often I noticed, agency staff were paired up with regular staff

To be honest, I was upset that some visitors bustled through every control procedure the staff set up when there was an outbreak, they were visiting their resident but putting my dad at risk

Nothing about the current situation is easy, and not visiting is tough on everyone... we have already had members here reporting that there is a resident with the virus in the care home of their loved one, which is heart breaking


Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
The home my husband was previously in had a time once for a week when it was closed to visitors due to infection, this time it is the uncertainty of how long it will be before we see our loved ones again and that is the hardest thing to bear. The home my husband is in has not been in touch to say what if any methods ie: Skype/FaceTime or calls can or will be set up. They have however been in touch to tell me about three incidents concerning my husband which they have to do anyway and while I appreciate this it does nothing to alleviate my anxiety as I can’t go and help calm him.
I’d did receive a letter yesterday from the county council who run the home saying that two mobile numbers will be set up in the future? Bearing in mind my husband wouldn’t know how to talk on the phone I fail to see how that would help apart from me talking to already busy care staff. It’s interesting that the home where my husband was previously have been posting on their social media page of activities that have been going on including streaming of music by a duo which normally does sets monthly in there without identifying any residents.
All along the various stages of this illness I have found that the professionals take very little time to see how the Carers are impacted by this illness and only one acknowledged this and it lead to the appointment of someone to work with the Carers which has been brilliant.
I know these are very trying times and it’s of the utmost importance that Covid does not get into homes but it still does not take away the stress of us worrying.
Take care everyone and hopefully we will all get through this and come out healthy at the other end x


Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
Auckland...... New Zealand
Hi from New Zealand.
My Mums care home has 3 levels, Rest Home, Dementia & Hospital. There is a total of 120 residents.
It is within a Retirement Village of another 500 residents.,
Mums care home has been on visitor lockdown for a month already ( unless they are on palliative/end if life care)
Our Government announced a country lock down last Thursday for a month minimum.

We have had two NZ care homes, with a resident diagnosed with Covid about a fortnight ago.
This was due to a family member returning from overseas travel going to visit them in their care home before many of our travel & isolation rules came in.
We now have a Dementia Community group with 6 clients with Covid that they are trying to get to the bottom of.,

Its all such a stressful worrying time. Although Mum is in end stage Alzheimers with no communication or awareness of us visiting and generally asleep, its hard to know if somehow she could be thinking where are we?
I may just ask Care Home staff if we can do a video call just so we can see Mum.
I care for Dad with mild mixed dementia. I fear between his brother in Scotland passing away the other week ( pnuemonia only) Not being able to see Mum and now our lockdown will tip his mild dementia to next level.

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