I went through my mum's personal papers today, there was a box she had told me to look at after she died. She is in a home and alive but I am trying to sort out the house she has left behind and will never return to as she has gone so seriously downhill now. All her momentos were there and it was terribly poignant and heartbreaking. I kept thinking at least I am doing this and she is alive. I wanted to take some papers, like the scholarship she won to a grammar school in Spitalfields when she was living in the most deprived area of the East End and that she had been so proud of, to show her. There is no point I think. I wonder? I cannot keep up with her decline, feel like I am always 2 steps behind. Yet when I visit the bond is so strong I feel she understands everything. I feel I am in a time warp, a bad time warp. 4 in the morning and I am writing this drivel. Thank god for this forum.