For the past 20 years my granny had Alzheimer's, last week she passed away. I am 20 years old and i feel i have grieved for my granny in at least 3 stages; once for the granny i never got to know, another for empty vessel that she became and more recently grieving for now having nothing. When i imagined my granny's death I expected myself to be relieved as now she is free but I can't seem to think like that. Leading up to her death she lost the ability to swallow. We all expected it to be quick as we said our goodbyes, but she lasted a week. During this I saw her waste away, her eyes wide open but nothing there, gasping for each breath, pumped full of morphine she still seemed in pain and when we wetted her lips she seemed to say 'more,more'. These memories overshadow the relief that she is in a better place, popping into my head throughout the day, distracting me from what i was doing. When will it stop and I move into acceptance and the grieving to settle? I feel stupid for even feeling sad as for the past 4 years she has had no quality of life. When will I agree this was the best thing for her?